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"Scumbag" Teddy (Black Bear, but commonly misheard as Blackbeard) Soloway IV of the Isles of Skellige

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Re: "Scumbag" Teddy (Black Bear, but commonly misheard as Blackbeard) Soloway IV of the Isles of Skellige

Post by Alveuss on Tue Nov 15, 2016 5:42 pm

Oh

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Re: "Scumbag" Teddy (Black Bear, but commonly misheard as Blackbeard) Soloway IV of the Isles of Skellige

Post by Santa Borton on Tue Nov 15, 2016 5:51 pm

wow krzy

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Re: "Scumbag" Teddy (Black Bear, but commonly misheard as Blackbeard) Soloway IV of the Isles of Skellige

Post by Grumblesnorton on Mon Nov 21, 2016 7:49 pm

**Picture this: Guy is spotted standing outside the Intensity’s doctor’s office shaking his head as the sound of a trombone playing can be heard through the closed doors. Guy checks his watch, sighs, and begins walking away. As soon as he takes his first step, the door flings open. On the other side stands the one and only Teddy Soloway, giving Guy an accusatory stare.


Guy: Hey there?...

Soloway: So you were just going to walk away from me?


Guy: You told me to wait for you to get your stitches then disappeared for an hour!

Soloway: What happened to interviewers who were dedicated to their craft? Waiting out in the rain, sleet or snow so that they could be the one to ask those all too important questions!


Guy: Here’s a question: How did you know the exact moment I was leaving?

Soloway: That’s neither here nor there.


Guy: Were you just watching me all this time?

Soloway: Nobody wants to hear the answer to that.


Guy: Actually...

Soloway: Look, we got off on the wrong foot. You made some mistakes, I called you out on those mistakes, let’s just start over.


Guy: Oh my God. *Sigh* Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time: “Scumbag” Teddy, “Black Bear (but commonly misheard as Bleackbeard) Soloway IV of the Isles of Skellige! And Teddy, you must be pleased after your big win against Don Bishop tonight.

Soloway: Of course it was a big win, Guy! What happened is that I got into that ring and when I slapped Dan…


Guy: Don.


Soloway: Din Bishop pretty..well, I don’t know if the camera caught it, but he actually looked a little handsomer for a few seconds. I preformed a miracle tonight, Guy, and for doing my opponent such a huge favor, I all but deserved to win tonight. These hands, Guy, they’re not just for punching, or kicking…


Guy: Kicking? How in the...


Soloway: They actually performed some good tonight. I broke the mold of senseless violence that professional wrestling is shrouded in, by actually providing a humanitarian service by making John..


Guy: Don.


Soloway: Right. Bishop pleasing to the eye even if it was undone in the blink of an eye.


Guy: How is that even a stipulation for whether or not you win a match. People get slapped everyday!


Soloway: Yeah, I bet you do.


Guy: Teddy, you can’t just keep making things up as you go because you don’t want to accept that you lost. Don Bishop had you in a precarious position for much of that match, and when it was all said and done...wait a second. Teddy you won that match!


Soloway: Have you been listening at all? That’s what I said.


Guy: No, Teddy, I mean that you actually won the match!


Soloway: THAT’S WHAT I SAID!


Guy: Oh man, I’m living a “boy who cried  wolf” scenario. Been listening to you making up all these excuses whenever you lost that I thought you lost this one too despite watching it.


Soloway: I’ve been winning matches like this since day one. Tom Bishop is just the latest in a long, LONG line of victims.


Guy: Okay, but why the excuse for this one? You didn’t beat Bishop because of some wacky miracle work.


Soloway: Who are you to stand there and question me or my methods? You don’t see me telling me how to do your job.


Guy: ARE YOU KID--


Soloway: Guy, now that I’m 9-0 across the board. Things are going to be looking up. I was destined to make it big time. I’m already the hottest thing going in wrestling, all I need is the money, titles and big match booking to cement that fact.


Guy: You were 7-0 the other day!


Soloway: Look, it’s really simple math.


Guy: Yeah: seven plus one equals eight!


Soloway: Except you’re forgetting about a crucial variable: I beat Shawn so badly that Gavin ended up taking the L too.


Guy: How does that even work?


Soloway: It’s just one of the perils of being in a tag team, Guy. You screw up and you drag your partner down with you. That’s why I keep turning down your requests.


Guy: I never even asked to team with you.


Soloway: Because you know I’d turn you down.


Guy: Oh my God. All right, Teddy, before we wrap this up, how about you share what’s next in store for you and your undefeated streak.


Soloway: I just said it: not teaming with you.


Soloway abruptly turns and walks away leaving Guy standing there wondering why he doesn’t get paid more to deal with such a character.

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Re: "Scumbag" Teddy (Black Bear, but commonly misheard as Blackbeard) Soloway IV of the Isles of Skellige

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