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CMV Presents: Anarchy Rulz! (Ep. 244)
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Regardless of who you think will win in the main event tonight, who do you think is the greatest CMV superstar of all time?
CMV Presents: Anarchy Rulz! (Ep. 244)
CMV Anarchy Rulz: Episode 244!
LIVE from the Golden 1 Center in Sacramento, California!!!
PRE-SHOW!
----- ----- ----- ----- -----
Ever since the CMV brand-split, Bob Luger has been feeling as if all of his efforts are in vein. He consistently puts on stellar performances, but then is shafted when it comes to picking up the victory. Having a bit of a breakdown at King of the Ring, in which Luger said that he's a bit tired of being overlooked for every opportunity, but at the same time blames nobody but himself for coming up short. General manager of Genesis, Dave Turner, would approach the Work Ethic God and proclaim that he agrees in the sense that Luger has been carrying the yellow brand on his back, offering him a match here tonight at Anarchy Rulz against what Turner calls an "A-list opponent" which he searched the earth for. Now it's time to put up or shut up for Bobby, for if he falls here versus this mystery man, so might the remainder of his career . . .
WEB are in for the fight of their lives as they defend the CMV World Tag Team titles against the monstrous pairing of Bison and Duo Maxwell, The Empire of Pain!
Just announced earlier tonight on CMV.com, this bout between bitter foes, Bryan Novak and Randy Borton, will now be a Kiss My Foot match, in which the loser must bow down and kiss the victors foot! Will it be Novak who finally takes a knee in the name of our new King; or will The Milk Man be made to look like nothing more than a courtyard jester?
Up against the bigger, stronger, nastier, Mike Grizzly, everyone's favorite cousin is truly in for a war here tonight. But Billy Weaver is no stranger to being the underdog in a fight, as he has been for most of his career and the majority of his life. But this one is personal, as he steps up to a man he once called his friend and tag team partner, a man who nearly ended his career, a very, very, disgruntled, MONSTER. As he's done in the past, can Weaver keep The Wild Man down for the referee's count of ten; or will Grizzly finished what he started and put Billy in a wheelchair for the remainder of his existence?
Azreal seemed surprised when the International champion, Tim LaFave, chose a TLC match for their final encounter, claiming that Timmy Boy just doesn't seem hardcore enough. But as the New York born brawler was keen to remind us of, he's a former Hardcore and Anarchy champion, and at this time last year, beat Randy Borton in this very type of contest. LaFave says that tonight he'll show The BOA just how hardcore he can be, but he must not take his eyes of the prize, that shimmering gold belt that hangs high above the ring, awaiting one of these superstars to rip it down and head into the new era as the big dog on Genesis!
It's the culmination of what's been a war of words between The Friends of Cole Savage and the LaFave family for what seems like the entire season. After watching her life flash before her eyes at Battle Scars, Cass has decided that it may just be time for her to hang up those wrestling boots. But NOT before she gets her deserved crack at the CMV Vixens title, an opportunity to go out on top. Tomorrow night, she has her final dance inside of the squared circle, going head to head with her X-Gen sister and good friend, The Cheeky Japanese Girl, Jade Divine. That's tomorrow however, TONIGHT, LaFave has a vengeance, a final score to settle alongside America's Sweetheart as they venture inside of the unforgiving Steel Cage to once and for all knock a notch out of the ever inflating ego of Cole Savage and his many pals!
Suffice to say, the road has been a bit bumpy since Pierre Thompson began his career on Monday night Fusion post draft, and it's all thanks to his former Indy-scene pal, Xander Slate. The OG Dirty Heel has twice now defeated Primetime using his signature dirty heel tactics, but may have now backed himself into a corner that he will not be able to weasel himself out of. No pins, submissions, ropebreaks, countouts, disqualifications; pretty much NO rules, which means that there's no possible way for Slate to cheat in this one. Can Pierre finally stuff a sock in Xander's constant boasting; or will the former World champion prove that he doesn't need to bend the rules in order to kick some ass?
For seemingly no reason at all, or at least, a plot unannounced to the CMV universe, The Lunatic, Parker, has decided to make The Bloody Brit's life a living hell. For months, he's been targeting Andrews, trying to get under his skin and make it crawl, and it all was taken to a whole new level when Parker stole The Brit's newly won Anarchy championship at King of the Ring. Now, The Lunatic has agreed to give back Chris' title but ONLY if he can beat him for it in a two-out of-three falls match here tonight! The Bloody One wants his belt back, but perhaps even more than that, it's been a long time coming for him to get his hands on his tormentor and make him pay!
Inside of the devil's playground, two brothers will collide for ONE last chance at the big time. After both Sushi-X and Quantum failed to defeat the Undisputed champion, JustIN Sane, respectively in singles competition, their hopes of ever getting a crack at the most prestigious of titles was all but a dream. But Big Johnny Sampson, the general manager to CMV's flagship show, would announce a contest between the two siblings, pitting them versus one another with the winner being entered into next month's Elimination Chamber match. This certainly is not the first time that the two X-Gen founders have laced up their boots to go to war with each other, but there's no doubt that there is a lot riding on this one. The future is paved with a golden road for the victor of this bout, while the loser may never get another opportunity like this ever again. What are The Brothers Grim willing to do to one another in order to secure what they both thirst for the most in this company? The world shutters to find out . . .
It's all come down to this. One final match between the two greatest men to ever set foot inside of a CMV ring. Hayden and JustIN Sane are both guaranteed future Hall of Famers, but the never-ending debate within the universe as to which of them is the better, will finally be solved here tonight. It's The A-Lister's career, up against The Unpredictable One's most prized possession, the CMV Undisputed World Heavyweight championship. There's not much to say in this type of situation, we could lose a living legend, his unmistakable presence ripped from our graces, or we could see the king unseated from his throne atop the mountain of immortals. WHO will rise up as the one true icon of CMV, and WHO will be sent home a changed man forever-more?
LIVE from the Golden 1 Center in Sacramento, California!!!
PRE-SHOW!
----- ----- ----- ----- -----
Ever since the CMV brand-split, Bob Luger has been feeling as if all of his efforts are in vein. He consistently puts on stellar performances, but then is shafted when it comes to picking up the victory. Having a bit of a breakdown at King of the Ring, in which Luger said that he's a bit tired of being overlooked for every opportunity, but at the same time blames nobody but himself for coming up short. General manager of Genesis, Dave Turner, would approach the Work Ethic God and proclaim that he agrees in the sense that Luger has been carrying the yellow brand on his back, offering him a match here tonight at Anarchy Rulz against what Turner calls an "A-list opponent" which he searched the earth for. Now it's time to put up or shut up for Bobby, for if he falls here versus this mystery man, so might the remainder of his career . . .
WEB are in for the fight of their lives as they defend the CMV World Tag Team titles against the monstrous pairing of Bison and Duo Maxwell, The Empire of Pain!
Just announced earlier tonight on CMV.com, this bout between bitter foes, Bryan Novak and Randy Borton, will now be a Kiss My Foot match, in which the loser must bow down and kiss the victors foot! Will it be Novak who finally takes a knee in the name of our new King; or will The Milk Man be made to look like nothing more than a courtyard jester?
Up against the bigger, stronger, nastier, Mike Grizzly, everyone's favorite cousin is truly in for a war here tonight. But Billy Weaver is no stranger to being the underdog in a fight, as he has been for most of his career and the majority of his life. But this one is personal, as he steps up to a man he once called his friend and tag team partner, a man who nearly ended his career, a very, very, disgruntled, MONSTER. As he's done in the past, can Weaver keep The Wild Man down for the referee's count of ten; or will Grizzly finished what he started and put Billy in a wheelchair for the remainder of his existence?
Azreal seemed surprised when the International champion, Tim LaFave, chose a TLC match for their final encounter, claiming that Timmy Boy just doesn't seem hardcore enough. But as the New York born brawler was keen to remind us of, he's a former Hardcore and Anarchy champion, and at this time last year, beat Randy Borton in this very type of contest. LaFave says that tonight he'll show The BOA just how hardcore he can be, but he must not take his eyes of the prize, that shimmering gold belt that hangs high above the ring, awaiting one of these superstars to rip it down and head into the new era as the big dog on Genesis!
It's the culmination of what's been a war of words between The Friends of Cole Savage and the LaFave family for what seems like the entire season. After watching her life flash before her eyes at Battle Scars, Cass has decided that it may just be time for her to hang up those wrestling boots. But NOT before she gets her deserved crack at the CMV Vixens title, an opportunity to go out on top. Tomorrow night, she has her final dance inside of the squared circle, going head to head with her X-Gen sister and good friend, The Cheeky Japanese Girl, Jade Divine. That's tomorrow however, TONIGHT, LaFave has a vengeance, a final score to settle alongside America's Sweetheart as they venture inside of the unforgiving Steel Cage to once and for all knock a notch out of the ever inflating ego of Cole Savage and his many pals!
Suffice to say, the road has been a bit bumpy since Pierre Thompson began his career on Monday night Fusion post draft, and it's all thanks to his former Indy-scene pal, Xander Slate. The OG Dirty Heel has twice now defeated Primetime using his signature dirty heel tactics, but may have now backed himself into a corner that he will not be able to weasel himself out of. No pins, submissions, ropebreaks, countouts, disqualifications; pretty much NO rules, which means that there's no possible way for Slate to cheat in this one. Can Pierre finally stuff a sock in Xander's constant boasting; or will the former World champion prove that he doesn't need to bend the rules in order to kick some ass?
For seemingly no reason at all, or at least, a plot unannounced to the CMV universe, The Lunatic, Parker, has decided to make The Bloody Brit's life a living hell. For months, he's been targeting Andrews, trying to get under his skin and make it crawl, and it all was taken to a whole new level when Parker stole The Brit's newly won Anarchy championship at King of the Ring. Now, The Lunatic has agreed to give back Chris' title but ONLY if he can beat him for it in a two-out of-three falls match here tonight! The Bloody One wants his belt back, but perhaps even more than that, it's been a long time coming for him to get his hands on his tormentor and make him pay!
Inside of the devil's playground, two brothers will collide for ONE last chance at the big time. After both Sushi-X and Quantum failed to defeat the Undisputed champion, JustIN Sane, respectively in singles competition, their hopes of ever getting a crack at the most prestigious of titles was all but a dream. But Big Johnny Sampson, the general manager to CMV's flagship show, would announce a contest between the two siblings, pitting them versus one another with the winner being entered into next month's Elimination Chamber match. This certainly is not the first time that the two X-Gen founders have laced up their boots to go to war with each other, but there's no doubt that there is a lot riding on this one. The future is paved with a golden road for the victor of this bout, while the loser may never get another opportunity like this ever again. What are The Brothers Grim willing to do to one another in order to secure what they both thirst for the most in this company? The world shutters to find out . . .
It's all come down to this. One final match between the two greatest men to ever set foot inside of a CMV ring. Hayden and JustIN Sane are both guaranteed future Hall of Famers, but the never-ending debate within the universe as to which of them is the better, will finally be solved here tonight. It's The A-Lister's career, up against The Unpredictable One's most prized possession, the CMV Undisputed World Heavyweight championship. There's not much to say in this type of situation, we could lose a living legend, his unmistakable presence ripped from our graces, or we could see the king unseated from his throne atop the mountain of immortals. WHO will rise up as the one true icon of CMV, and WHO will be sent home a changed man forever-more?
Last edited by Mr. Dashing on Fri Sep 16, 2016 3:27 pm; edited 1 time in total
_________________
1x CMV Anarchy champion
1x CMV Tag Team champion
Bludgeon
1x Mr. Money in The Bank, 2x World Heavyweight Champion, 1x United States champion, 2x CMV World Tag Team champion, 1x CMV International champion, 1x CMV Unified World Tag Team champion, 1x CMV Anarchy champion, KING of the RING 2019, former Supremacy general manager, Glammy award for Feud of the Year, Glammy award for Tag Team of the Year (W/Borton), 2x Glammy Award for Heel of the Year
1x CMV Tag Team champion
Bludgeon
1x Mr. Money in The Bank, 2x World Heavyweight Champion, 1x United States champion, 2x CMV World Tag Team champion, 1x CMV International champion, 1x CMV Unified World Tag Team champion, 1x CMV Anarchy champion, KING of the RING 2019, former Supremacy general manager, Glammy award for Feud of the Year, Glammy award for Tag Team of the Year (W/Borton), 2x Glammy Award for Heel of the Year
Xander Slate
HOW WAS HE NOT A WORLD CHAMPION!?
Re: CMV Presents: Anarchy Rulz! (Ep. 244)
The prediction contest returns, ladies! The person who gets the most predictions correct for Anarchy Rulz (PRE-SHOW INCLUDED!) will not only get their own dank ass custom colored name on the site until the next PPV, but will also get to book two matches Fusion, two matches on Genesis and a match on each of their Live Events!
I highly doubt that there will be a tie with there being sixteen matches in total on the card, but just in case:
How many JUMPING CUTTERS do you think JustIN Sane will get off on Hayden in the main event?
I highly doubt that there will be a tie with there being sixteen matches in total on the card, but just in case:
How many JUMPING CUTTERS do you think JustIN Sane will get off on Hayden in the main event?
Re: CMV Presents: Anarchy Rulz! (Ep. 244)
Predictions:
Headhunter and Bannon
Bob Storm
Angelica Jones
Ziegler
Andrews
Nick Blake
???
Bison and Duo
Borton, the king of Kiss My Foot matches
Mike Grizzly
Tim
Jade and Cass
Pierre Thompson
Andrews
Sushi X
Sane
3 JUMPING CUTTERS
Headhunter and Bannon
Bob Storm
Angelica Jones
Ziegler
Andrews
Nick Blake
???
Bison and Duo
Borton, the king of Kiss My Foot matches
Mike Grizzly
Tim
Jade and Cass
Pierre Thompson
Andrews
Sushi X
Sane
3 JUMPING CUTTERS
_________________
Borton- Main Event Star!
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Re: CMV Presents: Anarchy Rulz! (Ep. 244)
DID YOU EVEN GET THE NEW HAYDEN
_________________
Matthew wrote: Hayden is so much better than Schmidty in every way.
Miztacular- Admin
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Humor : Making Sons uncomfortable
Re: CMV Presents: Anarchy Rulz! (Ep. 244)
Predictions:
Pre-Show-
Bannon and Headhunter
Elijah Stewart
Quinn Belle
Ziegler
Andrews
Valentine
Main Card -
???
Bison/Duo
Borton
Grizzly
Tim
Cass/Divine
Xander Slate
Andrews
Sushi-X
Hayden
4 JUMPING CUTTERS!
Pre-Show-
Bannon and Headhunter
Elijah Stewart
Quinn Belle
Ziegler
Andrews
Valentine
Main Card -
???
Bison/Duo
Borton
Grizzly
Tim
Cass/Divine
Xander Slate
Andrews
Sushi-X
Hayden
4 JUMPING CUTTERS!
_________________
Gumble- Main Event Star!
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Re: CMV Presents: Anarchy Rulz! (Ep. 244)
Suntan in-game goin' make TWO shows. Last week Nevada, this week, Cali
Re: CMV Presents: Anarchy Rulz! (Ep. 244)
Predictions:
Bannon/Headhunter
Kent (Of course)
Quinn belle
Ziegler
Andrews
Valentine
The ??? opponent
Bison and Duo
Novak
Grizzly
Lafave
Lafave/Divine
Slate
Andrews
Quantum
Sane
2 JUMPING CUTTERS
Bai gawd i did a prediction?! :O
Bannon/Headhunter
Kent (Of course)
Quinn belle
Ziegler
Andrews
Valentine
The ??? opponent
Bison and Duo
Novak
Grizzly
Lafave
Lafave/Divine
Slate
Andrews
Quantum
Sane
2 JUMPING CUTTERS
Bai gawd i did a prediction?! :O
_________________
Ryan Kent
1x NXT champion
Former money in the bank holder!
1x CMV Alpha champion
1x Undisputed champion
1X NXT tag champs
1X CMV Tag Champs
1x Hardcore Champion
1x International champion
2x Light Heavyweight champion
The man with the most title defences in CMV history!
CMV second ever grand slam champion!
Sean Kent
1x Fusion tag champs
DynamicWrestler- Main Event Star!
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Age : 23
Location : West Midlands,England
Humor : Dark Humor
Re: CMV Presents: Anarchy Rulz! (Ep. 244)
Bannon and Head Hunter
Troy Meyers
Kitty Quinn Belle
Ziegler
Andrews
Valentine
???
Web
Borton
Billy
Azreal
Divine and Lafave
Xander
Andrews
Sushi X
Hayden
2
Troy Meyers
Kitty Quinn Belle
Ziegler
Andrews
Valentine
???
Web
Borton
Billy
Azreal
Divine and Lafave
Xander
Andrews
Sushi X
Hayden
2
_________________
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Joe Dirte - NGW Tag Team Championship (The Kingdom) CMV Tag Team Championship (The Kingdom)
Maximum Rider - NGW Tag Team Championship (The Kingdom) CMV Tag Team Championship (The Kingdom)
George King - NGW Championship 2x - Final NGW Tag Team Championship (The Kingdom) - European Championship - Final Television Championship - First Internet Championship - CMV Tag Team Championship (The Kingdom) / Champion of Champion / CMV Undisputed World Championship
Tyson Cage - Fusion Tag Team Championship (The Bickering Duo)/Anarchy Championship 2x
Caleb Reed: Fusion Tag Team Championship (The Anarchists)
Jon Reed: Anarchy Championship
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Re: CMV Presents: Anarchy Rulz! (Ep. 244)
Preshow:
Bannon&HeadHunter
Jay Davis
Angelica Jones
Jacob Ziegler
Chris Andrews
Nick Blake
Main Show:
???
Empire of Pain
Bryan Novak
Mike Grizzly
Tim Lafave
Cass Lafave&Jade Divine
Pierre Thompson
Chris Andrews
Sushi-X
Justin Sane
Bannon&HeadHunter
Jay Davis
Angelica Jones
Jacob Ziegler
Chris Andrews
Nick Blake
Main Show:
???
Empire of Pain
Bryan Novak
Mike Grizzly
Tim Lafave
Cass Lafave&Jade Divine
Pierre Thompson
Chris Andrews
Sushi-X
Justin Sane
_________________
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Re: CMV Presents: Anarchy Rulz! (Ep. 244)
Bj and Mj
Thunder
Quinn
Ace
Andrews
Valentine
Bob Luger
Web
Borton
Billy
Azreal
Jade and Cass
Slate
Parker
Quantum
Sane
Thunder
Quinn
Ace
Andrews
Valentine
Bob Luger
Web
Borton
Billy
Azreal
Jade and Cass
Slate
Parker
Quantum
Sane
_________________
- Accomplishments :
- 2019 Heel of the Year as KLIQ (Bob Luger)
2019 Feud of the Year with Schmidty vs Johnny Sampson
2018 Heel of the Year as Schmidty
2018 Newcomer of the Year as Schmidty
2018 Face of the Year as Bob Luger
2018 Promoer of the Year
1x European Champion as Schmidty
2x United States Champion as Schmidty
1x Undisputed Champion as Schmidty
1x Global Champion as Schmidty
1x Global Champion as Bob Luger
FIRST 2x Alpha World Champion as Bob Luger
3x International Champion as Bob Luger
1x Tag Team Champion as Bob Luger
1x Tag Team Champion as Murdoc
2x Tag Team Champion as Freddy Osborne
1x Rising Star Champion as RGP
FIRST 2x Light Heavyweight Champion as Billy Weaver
1x Light Heavyweight Champion as Bryce Hurt
Batman- Main Event Star!
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Age : 28
Location : Hell
Humor : Tunnel Snakes Rule
Re: CMV Presents: Anarchy Rulz! (Ep. 244)
The Mega Big Pre-DIQ-tions; You Ready? Les' Go!
Match 1!
Bannon and MJ Warrior will tie up; MJ will get the advantage, then Bannon, than MJ, the hold will break because the Stamina for the Collar-and-Elbow tie-up will die out. Then Bannon will toss MJ into the ropes to the right. With a mighty clothesline he'll knock MJ off the apron and Headhunter will go to the mat to meet him. Bannon, does the crotch-chop and flip off Bloody Justice who will get into the ring but not before Cone pulls a crowbar out and threatens BJ to get back on the apron. Bannon will laugh hardily as while on the outside, Headhunter has already put MJ into a solid, triangle choke and like CM Punk, taps like a bitch. Cone's like "HEY! FUCK TARD! IN THE RING!" to which Headhunter nods and releases the submission, he rolls MJ into the ring and Bannon hits the Ban Hammer. BJ slips into the ring but not before Cone hit him in the face with the aforementioned crowbar. John drops the bar and counts the three. Bannon and Headhunter goin' win.
MATCH 2!
Everyone dies in the ring at once from synchronized heart failures and the Light Heavyweight Championship is sent over seas to Echo who is still in the military in 2018. No contest.
MATCH 3!
Angelica Jones starts the match with a solid booty-poppin' moonsault to no one, she slams her face into the mat and Quinn-Botch breaks a heel in the ring and falls onto Jones, she lifts Jones leg for the pin but Cone is face palming so hard Quinn doesn't realize Angelica is still facedown. Kitty stands up unsteadily, her broken heel giving her trouble and Jones jumps to her feet! Her Comeback activated. Maurie presses "Y" and Angelica does the Botch Comeback where she irish whips Quinn into the ropes, ducks a clothes line, attempts to duck another but they end up knocking heads. John gets to a 9 count before Quinn activates her Comeback, breaks her other heel and falls into the pin, securing the 3 count.
MATCH 3!
Ziegler and Ace begin the match with a solid collar-and-elbow tie up. But they both release it simultaneously when they realize the idea of "winner" and "loser" is subjective. Ziegler rolls out of the ring and pulls a wooden table out, not the folding ones that break for these type of events, no... A solid, oak table. He slides in into the ring and Ace tugs it to the center. Next Ziegler puts the legs into the ring and rolls back in. For the next 13 minutes, Ace and Jake assemble this lovely oak table. When the legs are properly attached Ziegler rolls out of the ring again and slides in some camping chairs. Red and Blue. Ace picks up the blue one and Ziegler says: "Hey!" Ace is like: "What?" Jake responds: "I like blue." Stephens retorts: "Nah." Ziegler is like: "BITCH! I bought the RED chair from Tractor Supply SPECIFICALLY for you!" Acey-Baby says: I hate red. Zieglepuss responds: "BITCH! You're wearing red! RIGHT NOW!" Ace is like: "Nah." So Ziegler, in his unbridled fury, toe kicks Ace, hooks both arms and slams his face into the canvas. Ziegler flips over Ace and hooks the leg. John, who has fallen asleep, wakes up when he hears the incredible impact of the pedigree. He rushes the pinfall and counts ONE! TWO! but Ace kicks out! Ziegler flips the oak table, but stops when he realizes it's REALLY heavy and instead picks up the folded camping chair and hits Ace in the back of the head. He flips over Ace and pins him again. John counts again. One! Two! Three! GgnoRe. Ziegler-The-Zieglepuss wins the Champion of Tables Championship.
MATCH 4!
Chris Andrews starts the match by farting and Shiloh by picking his nose. The true battle of champions begins by Chris fanning the fart stench over to Shiloh with his hand and Shiloh flicking his booger over to Chris. *Smack* right into the eye. Just as Shiloh goes for a wicked clothesline, the odor of Andrews' fart stops Gray in his tracks. And Andrews hits the Sodomy Suplex, breaking Shiloh's neck and ending his career. The ref throws up that cheeky "X" and Chris Andrews wins for being too savage, all day, urryday.
MATCH 5!
Nick Blake runs at Sammy-boy-the-chinchilla full-throttle. And is caught with a wicked side kick. Sam goes for the pin but is broken up by Savage who is yelling at Sam in French for some reason. Suddenly we hear: Sierra, Tango, Delta, Echo, Chinchilla... Friends of Cole Savage... And "Spec Ops" by CFO$ plays and Miss Roxanne, Kurasuke and Marley come from under the ring and climb onto the apron. With haste and grim dignity, Sam goes for Miss Roxanne first, he tries to plant a kiss, but she knees him in the dick. Then Marley does a cheeky springboard knee and breaks Sam's nose. And then Kurasuke opens a portal and takes Sam to his 11th birthday where one kid called him fat that one time. When Sam returns to 2018 Nick Blake is standing poised for that Head Trauma, and with his sight blinded by tears of the past, nose smashed like a beer can; and dick broken like a twig, Nick hits his Trauma of the Head knocking Sam out cold. All at once, Savage, Kassell, Kurasuke, Roxanne and Blake lay on top of Sam and John counts for the 3.
MATCH 6!
Bob Luger runs down to the ring for his mystery match and does some squats or something, I don't know. John calls him a queer and tells him Lex isn't his real dad. The music hits.
It's HEY HO FELLA by CSGO$ and out comes the Norriest of Scotts. But somethings different. He's a fucking robot! Edith says in her incredibly shrill, ear bleeding voice: Introducing. Weighing at 2 tons and standing at a height of 5 foot 8, it's Neo Norrie. Bob, lost in thought about the idea that Lex may not truly be his father, doesn't notice when Scott gives him a punch to the stomach, causing it to explode. Coughing blood, Luger wobbles to his feet. Neo Norrie tells him the truth. "Lex is not your father, Robert. I AM!" and Bob laughs and kicks him in the robo-nuts. And in an instance, Neo Norrie falls apart. With a solid punt, Bob kicks Neo Norrie's head into the audience and they proceed to bounce it like a beach ball before CMV Security escorts Bob out introducing a foreign object into the crowd. With Neo Norrie's Body, Legs and Arms still in the ring, Luger gets counted out and Neo Norrie wins.
MATCH 7!
Duo and Bison perform the Fusion dance before WEB arrive and forme the Two-Guy. (Get it? Duo = Two, Bi = Two). Standing at 14 feet and weighing a combined weight of whatever the fuck duo and bison weigh, WEB have no choice but to piss their drawers and leave the arena in fear. Two-Guy then has a mini-freak out because he has two brains in one skull and punts John Cone into the crowd where they bounce him around like a beachball. Tim LaFave comes out to fight the beast, but Two-Guy stomps on him, killing him. Then Eligah comes out to take the AAO hat but is also stomped on. Bob Luger comes back to throw a treadmill at Two-Guy but, like the others, is stomped on. Quantum makes note of the carnage going on in the main arena and reverses time. He stops time before Bison and Duo fuse and tells Dinkle to Cannon Ball kick both Duo and Bison by swinging on the rope that broke and killed Owen Hart and Dinkle agrees. Quantum unfreezes time and Dinkle does his thing. Instead of a successful Cannon Ball kick to interrupt the fusion. The wire snaps and Dinkle breaks his jaw on the ring post, killing him instantly. Duo and Bison realize that the trauma of watching Dinkle die before them was too much and they honor his name by fighting WEB as a tag team and not a fusion. WEB wins.
MATCH 8!
In a grand entrance, Borton enters the ring completely naked and only covered by a thick coating of fresh 2% milk. Novak enters riding on a rocker powered Baseball bat. The top of the bat catches the Top Rope and flings Novak into Borton who catches him for a pop-up Borto end, securing him the win as senior official Cohn Jone comes out to make the 3 count.
MATCH 9!
Grizzlepuss waddles to the ring like a penguin and Billy comes from the crowd as 'The Truth Reigns' by CFO$ plays. They meet in the center and Cohn tells them to kiss before fighting. Billy superkicks Cohn in the face and Grizzlepuss picks up Weaver, but not before Weaver spits in the eyes of Grizzly. Billy drops to his feet and whips out his phone. Grizzly, blinded by the chaw spit of Billy plays Marko Polo with Billy while he's on the phone. After 8 minutes of blindly wandering around the inside of the ring. Billy steps outside the ring and sits next to Dashing while smoking a cigarette. Dashing is all: "Yo, what was that call." Billy simply responds. "Don't worry about it." 20 minutes later, Grizzly is now inside the crowd, feeling peoples faces, trying to find the legendary beard of Billy. Just then! An 18 wheeler horn is heard and a rickety old pick-up truck, with a confederate flag on the doors barrels through the audience and slams into Grizzly, propelling his fat ass into the ring, unconscious. Billy puts his 34th cigarette out on Dashing's head and rushes into the ring for the 3 count. Cohn wakes up and counts. Billy wins! In a real-good feel-good moment Billy waves to the driver of the pick-up and it's none other than Rex Carter and Derrick Hartmen.
MATCH 10!
Azreal superkicks Tim and he wins.
MATCH 11!
Alright I'm exhausted. No follow through
Cass and Jade def. Cooper and Roxanne
MATCH12!
Pierre def. Xander
MATCH 14!
Sushi and Quantum win together.
MATCH 15!
Hay-Hay goin' nowhere.
Notes
I willfully ignored Andrews v. Parker. DW.
So hyped for this show breh.
Match 1!
Bannon and MJ Warrior will tie up; MJ will get the advantage, then Bannon, than MJ, the hold will break because the Stamina for the Collar-and-Elbow tie-up will die out. Then Bannon will toss MJ into the ropes to the right. With a mighty clothesline he'll knock MJ off the apron and Headhunter will go to the mat to meet him. Bannon, does the crotch-chop and flip off Bloody Justice who will get into the ring but not before Cone pulls a crowbar out and threatens BJ to get back on the apron. Bannon will laugh hardily as while on the outside, Headhunter has already put MJ into a solid, triangle choke and like CM Punk, taps like a bitch. Cone's like "HEY! FUCK TARD! IN THE RING!" to which Headhunter nods and releases the submission, he rolls MJ into the ring and Bannon hits the Ban Hammer. BJ slips into the ring but not before Cone hit him in the face with the aforementioned crowbar. John drops the bar and counts the three. Bannon and Headhunter goin' win.
MATCH 2!
Everyone dies in the ring at once from synchronized heart failures and the Light Heavyweight Championship is sent over seas to Echo who is still in the military in 2018. No contest.
MATCH 3!
Angelica Jones starts the match with a solid booty-poppin' moonsault to no one, she slams her face into the mat and Quinn-Botch breaks a heel in the ring and falls onto Jones, she lifts Jones leg for the pin but Cone is face palming so hard Quinn doesn't realize Angelica is still facedown. Kitty stands up unsteadily, her broken heel giving her trouble and Jones jumps to her feet! Her Comeback activated. Maurie presses "Y" and Angelica does the Botch Comeback where she irish whips Quinn into the ropes, ducks a clothes line, attempts to duck another but they end up knocking heads. John gets to a 9 count before Quinn activates her Comeback, breaks her other heel and falls into the pin, securing the 3 count.
MATCH 3!
Ziegler and Ace begin the match with a solid collar-and-elbow tie up. But they both release it simultaneously when they realize the idea of "winner" and "loser" is subjective. Ziegler rolls out of the ring and pulls a wooden table out, not the folding ones that break for these type of events, no... A solid, oak table. He slides in into the ring and Ace tugs it to the center. Next Ziegler puts the legs into the ring and rolls back in. For the next 13 minutes, Ace and Jake assemble this lovely oak table. When the legs are properly attached Ziegler rolls out of the ring again and slides in some camping chairs. Red and Blue. Ace picks up the blue one and Ziegler says: "Hey!" Ace is like: "What?" Jake responds: "I like blue." Stephens retorts: "Nah." Ziegler is like: "BITCH! I bought the RED chair from Tractor Supply SPECIFICALLY for you!" Acey-Baby says: I hate red. Zieglepuss responds: "BITCH! You're wearing red! RIGHT NOW!" Ace is like: "Nah." So Ziegler, in his unbridled fury, toe kicks Ace, hooks both arms and slams his face into the canvas. Ziegler flips over Ace and hooks the leg. John, who has fallen asleep, wakes up when he hears the incredible impact of the pedigree. He rushes the pinfall and counts ONE! TWO! but Ace kicks out! Ziegler flips the oak table, but stops when he realizes it's REALLY heavy and instead picks up the folded camping chair and hits Ace in the back of the head. He flips over Ace and pins him again. John counts again. One! Two! Three! GgnoRe. Ziegler-The-Zieglepuss wins the Champion of Tables Championship.
MATCH 4!
Chris Andrews starts the match by farting and Shiloh by picking his nose. The true battle of champions begins by Chris fanning the fart stench over to Shiloh with his hand and Shiloh flicking his booger over to Chris. *Smack* right into the eye. Just as Shiloh goes for a wicked clothesline, the odor of Andrews' fart stops Gray in his tracks. And Andrews hits the Sodomy Suplex, breaking Shiloh's neck and ending his career. The ref throws up that cheeky "X" and Chris Andrews wins for being too savage, all day, urryday.
MATCH 5!
Nick Blake runs at Sammy-boy-the-chinchilla full-throttle. And is caught with a wicked side kick. Sam goes for the pin but is broken up by Savage who is yelling at Sam in French for some reason. Suddenly we hear: Sierra, Tango, Delta, Echo, Chinchilla... Friends of Cole Savage... And "Spec Ops" by CFO$ plays and Miss Roxanne, Kurasuke and Marley come from under the ring and climb onto the apron. With haste and grim dignity, Sam goes for Miss Roxanne first, he tries to plant a kiss, but she knees him in the dick. Then Marley does a cheeky springboard knee and breaks Sam's nose. And then Kurasuke opens a portal and takes Sam to his 11th birthday where one kid called him fat that one time. When Sam returns to 2018 Nick Blake is standing poised for that Head Trauma, and with his sight blinded by tears of the past, nose smashed like a beer can; and dick broken like a twig, Nick hits his Trauma of the Head knocking Sam out cold. All at once, Savage, Kassell, Kurasuke, Roxanne and Blake lay on top of Sam and John counts for the 3.
MATCH 6!
Bob Luger runs down to the ring for his mystery match and does some squats or something, I don't know. John calls him a queer and tells him Lex isn't his real dad. The music hits.
It's HEY HO FELLA by CSGO$ and out comes the Norriest of Scotts. But somethings different. He's a fucking robot! Edith says in her incredibly shrill, ear bleeding voice: Introducing. Weighing at 2 tons and standing at a height of 5 foot 8, it's Neo Norrie. Bob, lost in thought about the idea that Lex may not truly be his father, doesn't notice when Scott gives him a punch to the stomach, causing it to explode. Coughing blood, Luger wobbles to his feet. Neo Norrie tells him the truth. "Lex is not your father, Robert. I AM!" and Bob laughs and kicks him in the robo-nuts. And in an instance, Neo Norrie falls apart. With a solid punt, Bob kicks Neo Norrie's head into the audience and they proceed to bounce it like a beach ball before CMV Security escorts Bob out introducing a foreign object into the crowd. With Neo Norrie's Body, Legs and Arms still in the ring, Luger gets counted out and Neo Norrie wins.
MATCH 7!
Duo and Bison perform the Fusion dance before WEB arrive and forme the Two-Guy. (Get it? Duo = Two, Bi = Two). Standing at 14 feet and weighing a combined weight of whatever the fuck duo and bison weigh, WEB have no choice but to piss their drawers and leave the arena in fear. Two-Guy then has a mini-freak out because he has two brains in one skull and punts John Cone into the crowd where they bounce him around like a beachball. Tim LaFave comes out to fight the beast, but Two-Guy stomps on him, killing him. Then Eligah comes out to take the AAO hat but is also stomped on. Bob Luger comes back to throw a treadmill at Two-Guy but, like the others, is stomped on. Quantum makes note of the carnage going on in the main arena and reverses time. He stops time before Bison and Duo fuse and tells Dinkle to Cannon Ball kick both Duo and Bison by swinging on the rope that broke and killed Owen Hart and Dinkle agrees. Quantum unfreezes time and Dinkle does his thing. Instead of a successful Cannon Ball kick to interrupt the fusion. The wire snaps and Dinkle breaks his jaw on the ring post, killing him instantly. Duo and Bison realize that the trauma of watching Dinkle die before them was too much and they honor his name by fighting WEB as a tag team and not a fusion. WEB wins.
MATCH 8!
In a grand entrance, Borton enters the ring completely naked and only covered by a thick coating of fresh 2% milk. Novak enters riding on a rocker powered Baseball bat. The top of the bat catches the Top Rope and flings Novak into Borton who catches him for a pop-up Borto end, securing him the win as senior official Cohn Jone comes out to make the 3 count.
MATCH 9!
Grizzlepuss waddles to the ring like a penguin and Billy comes from the crowd as 'The Truth Reigns' by CFO$ plays. They meet in the center and Cohn tells them to kiss before fighting. Billy superkicks Cohn in the face and Grizzlepuss picks up Weaver, but not before Weaver spits in the eyes of Grizzly. Billy drops to his feet and whips out his phone. Grizzly, blinded by the chaw spit of Billy plays Marko Polo with Billy while he's on the phone. After 8 minutes of blindly wandering around the inside of the ring. Billy steps outside the ring and sits next to Dashing while smoking a cigarette. Dashing is all: "Yo, what was that call." Billy simply responds. "Don't worry about it." 20 minutes later, Grizzly is now inside the crowd, feeling peoples faces, trying to find the legendary beard of Billy. Just then! An 18 wheeler horn is heard and a rickety old pick-up truck, with a confederate flag on the doors barrels through the audience and slams into Grizzly, propelling his fat ass into the ring, unconscious. Billy puts his 34th cigarette out on Dashing's head and rushes into the ring for the 3 count. Cohn wakes up and counts. Billy wins! In a real-good feel-good moment Billy waves to the driver of the pick-up and it's none other than Rex Carter and Derrick Hartmen.
MATCH 10!
Azreal superkicks Tim and he wins.
MATCH 11!
Alright I'm exhausted. No follow through
Cass and Jade def. Cooper and Roxanne
MATCH12!
Pierre def. Xander
MATCH 14!
Sushi and Quantum win together.
MATCH 15!
Hay-Hay goin' nowhere.
Notes
I willfully ignored Andrews v. Parker. DW.
So hyped for this show breh.
Page 1 of 8 • 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
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