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Never cleared it up properly. Not even sure if you care. I'll try to explain it anyway.

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Never cleared it up properly. Not even sure if you care. I'll try to explain it anyway.

Post by KinZil on Sat Jun 03, 2017 7:57 pm

I've mentioned it a few times on and off now. I never really have explained my side of the story in depth. so you can maybe grasp what was going through my mind at the time, for one final time. PLEASE don't feel sympathy for me, everything I did towards Dashing last year was wrong, I was the brat, he was just caught up in my idiocy.

I am a man of dramatics, so forgive me if I go too much into detail.

Back in August, I was a dumb kid with a chip on his shoulder, who took everything literally, and didn't give a crap what anybody thinked of him. I was a hothead. I was out for the summer, and I just got done with year one of my 2 year course. I felt pretty damn good about myself, so whatever I said, I took as gospel. I thought that whatever I said to anybody was right, and any given person I was speaking to was ignorant and not aware of how "right" I was.

Looking back, I knew I wasn't liked here. To most people, I was an annoying kid who needed to grow up and chill out.  And they were 100% right. I took an e-fed, built on community, way too seriously and left CMV like the crybaby I was turning into, kicking and screaming whilst leaving.

I'm glad that I took so long to grow up and come back, with the very real possibility that I would have to swallow my pride and apologize to each and every single one of you. I came back to CMV in a dark place, as I am currently in the process of getting diagnosed for clinical depression for reasons personal and nothing to do with CMV. This is by no means a way of trying to excuse what I did and said, or a way to guilt trip anybody. Depression is teaching me humility, and how nobody is better than anybody else. It also is teaching me how anger is a slippery slope, and that you can end up with no one if you fight with everyone. Community is everything.

So for Dennis, Hayden and others to accept me back into the CMV community, and for them to allow me to get on with my day to day life through the medium of writing promos, interacting with others who share the same interests and to contribute to a pretty cool YT/Twitch series is beyond awesome.

I agree with what Maurie once said, that my temper is what held me back from moving forward, whether that was being a mod or some other thing. I hope that I haven't pissed any of you off just yet since I came back. Smile  

You really never appreciate what you once had, until you had time to reflect on its absence.  And shit, I really reflected on it.

So there's the last you'll here from me on the subject. If I dwell on it anymore, it will become a burden in of itself. Just know that I appreciate you all, and you're family to me. <3

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Re: Never cleared it up properly. Not even sure if you care. I'll try to explain it anyway.

Post by Alveuss on Sat Jun 03, 2017 8:09 pm

Right so I feel I'm going to be speaking for a few of us here when I say, move on. You've come back and you've apologized and thus far at least you've been a different person. That's good. What happened and how you went out last time is done, gone and I can guarantee you nobody cares now. You are who you are now and yeah I can't say for certain that everyone will have forgiven you but honestly, so what? Everyone has their shit that they go through and others behave differently due to it. What everyone will know is you had your reasons for acting how you did and nobody needs an explanation. Better yet, you don't owe anybody an explaination. In your post when you came back I was one of the people you mentioned by name and apologized to. I've for the most part forgiven you now considering you've shown your attitude has changed and if you keep that up then I'm sure everyone else will eventually too. Forget about it and move on.

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Re: Never cleared it up properly. Not even sure if you care. I'll try to explain it anyway.

Post by topher316 on Sat Jun 03, 2017 8:16 pm

tbh i never saw that, was i here.... i mean we didn't talk much or feuded.... i remember you pm'ing me once saying you'd love to do a brit feud, think that was you right...but i had no problems with you.

but a lot of people have acted like dicks, hell i have... i've been going through stuff or had a bad day and was in a piss poor mood.... But thing is, in CMV people don't tend to hold grudges, people move on and build bridges.  Maurie is one of the younger members on here, yet he calmed me down too

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Re: Never cleared it up properly. Not even sure if you care. I'll try to explain it anyway.

Post by Maurie on Sat Jun 03, 2017 8:27 pm

Last thing we need is another kid on the site, Amirite?  Cool

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Re: Never cleared it up properly. Not even sure if you care. I'll try to explain it anyway.

Post by Alveuss on Sat Jun 03, 2017 8:30 pm

Maurie wrote:Last thing we need is another kid on the site, Amirite?  Cool

Hell I'd take about another 30 of em if they're all as mature/creative as you are. Forget you're 14 sometimes tbh

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Re: Never cleared it up properly. Not even sure if you care. I'll try to explain it anyway.

Post by Maurie on Sat Jun 03, 2017 8:32 pm

Thanks Alveuss. Means alot.

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Re: Never cleared it up properly. Not even sure if you care. I'll try to explain it anyway.

Post by 14 on Sun Jun 04, 2017 5:41 pm

THE KLIQ IS STILL STRONG!!!!

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Re: Never cleared it up properly. Not even sure if you care. I'll try to explain it anyway.

Post by 14 on Sun Jun 04, 2017 5:41 pm

Accept Paul.

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Re: Never cleared it up properly. Not even sure if you care. I'll try to explain it anyway.

Post by Alveuss on Sun Jun 04, 2017 5:55 pm

14 wrote:Accept Paul.

Except

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Re: Never cleared it up properly. Not even sure if you care. I'll try to explain it anyway.

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