Dirty Laundry

The camera comes in the parking lot of New York’s Manhattan Center. We see a crowd of people standing around some semi trucks, lined with the faces of NGW’s greatest. They all group around the parking garage ramp, waiting with bated breath. Small murmurs can be heard throughout. The garage door slowly begins to open, and the crowd falls silent. Now open, no car drives out. Instead, out walks the woman of the hour: Janet Torre. She’s still in her ring gear, as well as sporting a plain white shirt. The crowd immediately starts cheering.

You see that?

The crowd roar up once more.

Now I’ve always been a kind God fearing woman, but I swear… I have never met such a walking piece of garbage like that in my life, and that pissed me off!

In unison, the crowd yell back, “Pissed off!” Janet starts walking up the ramp.

I swear! I came here to clean up the locker room, not be a maid for Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dipshit!

Chuckles spread through the parking lot.

If I ever see those twins again, I’m gonna shove my boot right down their throats!

. . .

Actually, I’m gonna do it anyways!

Janet points straight into the camera.

You, get over here!

The cameraman approaches the crazed custodian. Janet gets close to the camera, breathing heavily and shaking with rage.

Amy Winters, you listen to me you trashbag heffer! I am sick and tired of bustin my ass for your big mouth! I was promised a better NGW, a cleaner NGW, and all I’ve gotten so far is you crappin all over my work, you treacherous cow! Am I a joke to you? Is that it? Are you tryin to piss me off? Well congratu-f**kin-lations, you’ve pissed me off!

In unison, the crowd yell back, “Pissed me off!”

I tell you what, Winters. If I were you, I would and I would run. I would run, and I would never come back! You’ve been boilin this pot for far to long, and now it’s ready to explode!

Janet jerks up towards the crowd.

What should I do if I find her?!

Janet turns towards the last voice.

Throw her in the trash, is that it? Hmm…

. . .

Nah, nah. I’m an eco-loligist, see? I want to save the turtles.


I’ll throw her in an incinerator instead!

The bloodthirsty crowd roars in approval.

Janet! Janet! Janet! Janet!

Janet walks through the crowd, getting more and more riled up with every second. People are cheering, people are chanting, and streamers are flying!

. . .

Streamers are flying, right onto the ground. Janet stops in her tracks, and the deafening crowd becomes dead silent. Janet looks down, picking up the mess. As she stands back up, completely stone faced, the crowd part ways, showing one man, trapped in a ring of people with Janet Torre.

Uh… woo! Janet! Th… Throw her in the Incinera-Torre! Janet! Janet! Jan-mph!

In one smooth motion, Janet simulatiously shoves the streamer straight down the man’s throat while also sweeping his leg from behind. Now off balance, she uses her hand to push him down straight to the concrete, where he lands with a loud thud.

. . .

. . .

Woo! Janet! Janet! Janet!

The crowd light back up and crowd in, taking turns to kick the man while he’s down. As this chaos ensues, Janet walks towards the NGW semi trucks. She opens the door and steps right in. The cameraman quickly runs over to intervene.

Wait, Janet, you can’t take those! Those are private property!

As he gets closer, the camera is met with a boot to the face. It falls to the ground, leaving us with a sideways view of the world. Roaring diesel and wild yells will the NGW parking lot as Janet Torre drives off into the sunset.