Absolutely Pathetic

The lights go out and an instant later a spotlight appears on the ring.  In that instant appearing on stage are 3 figures.  Justin Edwards stands in the middle, flanked by his stablemates Jeff Wallace and Adam Bradley.  The crowd sits in stunned silences, uncertain how to react to the 3 members of WEB after the ferocious salvo they unleashed upon the CMV universe.

Justin Edwards  You are all pathetic.  When I first caught wind of CMV I was absolutely stunned.  Stunned that such a weak group of competitors was able to amass such a following.  After watching a few matches of the supposed best of the best that CMV had to offer I thought just one thing.  They don’t deserve this.  Upon reflection I realized that clearly the promoters were able to somehow appeal to the all the dumbest people in the world at the same time.  That was the only possible explanation.  

Later that same night as I was preparing for my match I spoke to Jeff Wallace about CMV and how such pathetic excuses for wrestlers were able to become so popular.  He told me that maybe I was wrong.  Maybe all you people aren’t fools for liking CMV.  Maybe you just had never seen what real talent was.  What real wrestlers were capable of.  Maybe you all just didn’t know any better.  I was intrigued by the idea and so I said to him, well then why don’t we go and show them exactly what they are missing?

Jeff Wallace  As one of the greatest wrestlers in history I was intrigued by the idea.  Having already accomplished everything I could ever hope to on the independent stage and in NLW I thought why not?  With my skills it would be childs play to show you all just what you are missing by following this pathetic promotion.

Justin Edwards  As I toyed around with the idea I came to the realization that I just don’t  know that its enough.  The more I thought about it the more I was put off by the idea.  Why?  Because you fools don’t deserve it.  Wouldn’t it be better to destroy the entire CMV universe from the inside?  Rather than show you what wrestling could be why not just take away from you the very thing that you love.  To see your champions destroyed, your heroes crippled.  To see the very walls of this sad excuse for a building laid to waste.

And frankly after coming here just a few short weeks ago I have come to the realization that I was absolutely right.  Not only have we been able to injure your stars unmolested, we have scared your champions so badly that they cant even bring themselves to be in the building for fear that we will show up.  I always knew the CMV universe was weak and pathetic.  But I never would have imagined the utter cowardice that we would be met with here.  You all can run, but you will not hide.  All will be caught in the WEB.  All will see our glory and realize just how much better we are.  And when finally this entire pathetic universe is broken you will understand just how big of fools you all were for ever imagining that your supposed champions and heroes were anything more than amateurs.

Great stuff, dude!