Nachos, Milk and Moonshine.

The buzz running through the crowd could be felt by everyone. It was a match fit to headline Cyberslam and here it was on Monday night Fusion.
The veteran, holder of multiple previous titles and current Anarchy champion Sunshine going one on one with Mr Money in the Bank, Past Anarchy champion,  the Milkamaniac Randy Borton!

The match was everything and more! Borton kicking out of two of Sunshines finishers, Sunshine reversing Bortons moves, the crowd chanting THIS IS AWESOME for a full 5 minutes and finally Sunshine getting the 1-2-3 after multiple kicks to Bortons chest.

As Randy leaned on the ropes , anger and frustration etched on his face a figure walks out onto the top of the ramp mic in hand. He is dressed in red and blue wrestling tights, a red and blue cowboy hat, red tinted glasses with the word Madness on each lens and a red t-shirt with Nacho Mania written across the front.

  Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh. Mr Money in the Bank. Can you feel it brother?
Things havent been going your way since you climbed that ladder and grabbed that briefcase.   Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh.
You got a shot brother at whatever title you want but you also got a target on your back. Everyone wants to make sure you're not fit enough to cash in on them!
Can Milkamania carry you through??

At the mention of Milkamania the crowd goes wild!

  Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh.  I hear you! Milkamania is running wild tonight!
But the fact is brother you lost again.
Nacho Madness is here brother! Its here to say its got your back if you need it brother!
Im reaching out my hand and offering you Nachos! But its a one time offer brother, you turn it down and the Nacho Madness will run wild!!
Im funky like a monkey brother and im offering you my hand....

The clearly slightly insane man reaches out a hand towards Randy Borton who by now is only a few feet from him

The crowd watch, waiting to see if Randy will find this upstart offensive to his mere presence or if Milkamania will shake hands with the Nacho Madness!!

The excitement for the next match was more than usual for one involving the Milkamaniac. He was up against Ringo Maxx but it was billed that he would have a mystery guest in his corner.
Was this the insane Nachoman from the previous week?
Had Mr Money in the Bank accepted the Nachos offered him the previous week?

There was a mixture of surprise and disappointment when Randy Borton was accompanied to the ring by Masta Fujin.
What was the plan behind this? Was the milkamaniac throwing in with Hannibal and Masta Fujin?

The fight went back and forth with Borton totally botching a superkick and Ringo Maxx dropping a second Banshees Call to get the 1-2-3.

As Masta Fujin and Randy Borton stood in the ring the sound of slow clapping came from the top of the ramp.
The man with the nachos slowly walked out dressed in bright green and yellow tights and wearing a bright green and yellow tasseled jacket.

Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh. Mr Money in the Bank. The Milkamaniac. You rejected the Nacho Madness for that??
You may want to cash your briefcase in on Cassie Maverick because with him in your corner the Vixens title is the only one you stand a chance of winning brother!
Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh brother I offered you the Nacho Madness and you just took madness!!
Whats he the Masta of brother? Standing and watching you lose brother thats what!!

Masta Fujin, clearly angered by the insults, rolls out of the ring and starts charging up the ramp towards the man taunting him.

Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh brother bring it on!!
Im too hot to handle too cold to hold!!
The Nacho Madness will crash down on you!!

The two wrestlers clash at the top of the ramp.As Masta Fujin and the Nachoman exchange big right hands to each other security guards and extra referees rush out to try and separate the two. As the Nachoman is pulled away Masta Fujin lands a drop kick on him sending the security guards tumbling. The Nachoman rushes up and delivers a running elbow to Masta Fujin.
Extra wrestlers, including Chase Valentine and Bob Storm rush out to help drag the two wrestlers back into the locker rooms leaving Randy Borton standing alone and bemused in the ring.

As he prepares to leave the ring he looks out at the crowd and realizes one thing for sure. Although most of the signs say MOO MOO MOO a few have now appeared saying NOM NOM NOM.
Whether he likes it or not Nacho Madness is coming!
He now has to decide if to embrace it or try and crush it.
Randy walks into the back thoughtful, as if he didn't have enough to worry about deciding when and who to cash his briefcase in on when he couldn't get any momentum going.

Interviewer:   This is Ron errr Matt Brinkley backstage about to talk to two of the contestants in tonights fallout show of Fusion after Exodus.... Randy Borton and Andy Savage!

The camera pans out to reveal a man standing there wearing black and white wrestling tights with black and white stars on and a black cape with white stars on it. He is also sporting black sunglasses with the word MADNESS in white on each lens and carrying a small pot of cream.

Andy Savage :   Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh can you feel the electricity brother?

Matt Brinkley:   Errrr will Randy be joining us here before the show?

Andy Savage:   Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh does it really matter brother? All you need to know is that tonight two powers will be in the ring at the same time. Two powers brother with the force of the communiverse behind them. Unstoppable brother. The Nachoman had a plan for gold brother when he signed for CMV and that plan is close  Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh so close you can smell it?

Matt Brinkley :   Errr yeah sure I can smell it. And does Randy share this ambition for the tag team belts with you?

Andy Savage :  Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh. Randy has his briefcase brother, he has bigger sights than the tag team belts. The Nacho Madness is there brother. Gold will be round my waist. I hear what people are saying about my infatuation brother, about me looking like an All star and not being the creme of the crop. Well brother I can tell you tonight will show what the Nacho Madness is about. Tonight will show the Nachoman is the future of CMV brother. My debut match  Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh. Tonight you will see the cream rise to the top brother.

With those words the utterly insane man pours the pot of cream slowly over the head of the bemused Matt Brinkley and walks off muttering about nachos.
In the background Randy Borton can be seen walking towards the dressing rooms. Matt Brinkley runs after him

Matt Brinkley  : Randy! Randy!! Can we get a few words about you teaming up with Andy Savage tongiht;

Randy Borton : nah, nope, na, never, no

fuck you

hard

With that Randy Borton walks into the dressing room and shuts the door in the cameraman's face.

During the early fights of Fusion the camera goes backstage to interviewer Lisa Evans. Pacing furiously up and down next to her is Andy Savage.

Lisa: This is Lisa Evans here with one of the losers of the tag te...

Andy Savage: Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh Lisa let me stop you there sister. Im not the loser here, i didnt get pinned.My debut match and Randy Borton throws the match?!!

Lisa: Are you saying Randy deliberately let himself get pinned?

Andy Savage : Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh sister. Why else do you think the Nachoman was so slow into the ring? Id done the brunt of the work there sister. I hit the Nacho Madness from the top turnbuckle and where was Borton? I got superplexed to the hard arena floor and where was Borton? After missing a superkick he lands one and where was the pin? He gets hit by one tag team move and stays down? Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh sister the Nachoman is not impressed.

Lisa: So is this the end to your tag team chances? There is still a mystery team for the cup in Tokyo?

Andy Savage : Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh sister! Let me tell you the truth. My plan for gold all along? Troy Voodoo, Sunshine, #TWW all great champions sister. To get gold the weak link was Mr Money in the Bank. I was in his corner till he cashed in sister then I was looking for my own title shot!

Lisa: You werent supporting Milkamania then?!

Andy Savage. Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh sister. Let me tell you what happens to milk when it stands about for too long. It goes sour sister! Randy Borton is sour sister and throwing the match shows it. Im the cream sister and im rising to the top. Next time you see me in the ring with Randy I want it one on one, he can even chose the match type its all the same to me sister.
Im the tower of power too sweet to be sour, the creme of the crop and im rising to the top Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh

With that the man who has only had one match and lost struts off in utter misguided confidence.

The crowd finish watching the camera scene of The Bloody Brit Chris Andrews at the hospital, cheering that Foreign Affairs will still be in the tag team tournament in Tokyo and the image changes to the backstage area while the blood is being cleaned from the ring from the previous fight.

Lisa Evans : Im here backstage hoping to get a word with one of the competitors from a great match tonight, The Milkamaniac or The Nachoman.

Andy Savage walks into view, sweat and blood dripping down his face.

Andy Savage: Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh Lisa the NachoMadness always has time for you.

Lisa Evans: A great match tonight and a surprise upset for you, how do you feel?

Andy Savage : Surprise upset Lisa? Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh sister it may of been a surprise to Mr Money in the Bank but ive been telling people for weeks sister im the cream sister, im rising to the top.
I just proved it tonight.

Lisa Evans : Well it was certainly a great match. You managed to kick out several times there tonight.

Andy Savage : Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh! Im funky like a monkey. Randy threw everything he had at me but I just wanted this victory more sister. He even tried to copy the NachoMadness sister but there can only be one. He busted me open and I kept going. Theres no stopping me sister Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh

Lisa Evans: you offered the handshake to Randy at the end and he slapped it away. Does this mean your feud continues?

Andy Savage: Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh. The Mega Cowers could of been great sister be he wanted none of it. Ive proven I can beat him so to me its over sister. Randy never wanted any of it so I doubt he'll be back for more. Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh ill think about my future now and see where it goes.

Lisa Evans: At one point in the match though it looked like the ref counted to three before you kicked out?

Andy Savage: Let me tell you sister if he had the match would of ended. Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh it didnt sister and I kept going. I didnt even need to drop the elbow to win sister. I had more in the tank and he can take that to the bank!

With that the Nachoman struts off wiping blood from his head. In the background Lisa sees Randy at the dressing room door and runs after him.

Lisa Evans: Randy! Randy!! Can we get a few words about tonights upset?

Randy Borton: No Lisa, im too busy, im going to go cut my arm off!

t had been a long night. He'd finished his second job as a referee at Fusion and then gone and done his third job as night security. Long hours but he needed the money to feed six children.
It was 9 am as he got home and there was a van pulling up at his house.
The driver got out and after confirming he had the right address started to unload the contents of the van into the house.
He shut the door and breathing deeply sat down to look at the boxes.
He wasn't proud of what hed done while refereeing the match but a years supply of Nachos for a family of six went a long way to helping him sleep that night.

He was in a great mood. And why not, things had been going so well since signing for CMV. Sure he'd only had two matches but he had burst onto the scene straight on Fusion. Fine the Maga Cowers hadn't come about but he had beaten Mr Money in the Bank.
Whistling happily the Nachoman headed towards the catering room, his meals were now laid out ready for him being a Fusion star.

He headed to the table where he knew his plate of Nachos would be.
Nothing.
Confused he looked about the catering room, the only other superstar present was Randy Borton with an empty plate in his hand.

Andy Savage: Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh brother!!! The Milk IS turning sour when you steal my Nachos! It was over brother, i finished it in the ring but this....!!

Randy Borton faces flickers from confusion to annoyance to utter anger and with a swift motion Randy smashes the plate over the Nachomans head. Turning he picks up the nearby steel chair he had been sitting on and smashes it over the head of Andy Savage cracking his skull wide open.

The Nachoman rolls up and grabs a steel chair of his own just as COO Triple H walks in

Triple H : Whooa whats going on here. We dont have superstars fighting in the catering room we have a ring for that.

Andy Savage: Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh. Thats fine by me. The skys the limit and space is the place. Set it up one more time brother for the NachoMadness to take on the Milkamania!!

Triple H : I dont think you are in any shape to fight a match, you need to go to the medical team or sure I would.

Andy Savage : Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh brother don't worry about the NachoMadness I know just the man who will fight the match for the NachoMadness.

Triple H looks at Borton and shrugs : Looks like you got yourself a match

Randy Borton: DAFUK!! Why the hell me again!!!!


(Sorry Borto, not even I can control the NachoMadness at times! )

Randy Borton stood panting in the ring. He was sure fights never used to be this hard when he was new to the game. Crowe had come at him fast and hard showing no respect for Mr Money in the Bank and had very nearly got the win. Only Randys experience had saved him with an upset fall away slam.
As he stood there taking in the cheers of all the Milkamaniacs a slow clapping came from the ramp. Oh dear God no he thought and turned to see Andy Savage walking slowly out on to the ramp. A smile crossed Randys face as he saw the neck brace around Andy Savages neck.
Mic in hand the Nachoman addressed Randy

Andy Savage : Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh. Mr Money in the Bank wresltling like an ameteur against a rookie. You took a cheap shot brother to deny the millions and millions of Nachoholics a chance to see my PPV debut. Well brother you had better bring more than you did tonight when you face your opponent at Dark Carnival.
You better bring the paramedics with you brother because your opponent is a Dark Nightmare brother.
Your opponent in six days time brother is the 7feet 1 450 pounds beast called the Headhunter.
Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh brother after Dark Carnival you wont  be able to cash that briefcase in. The NachoMadness is coming for you brother.

With that the Nachoman turns and walks from the stage heading back to the backstage area where he left a plate of tasty nachos.

LISA : In CMV, here is a man that has not only turned it around 180 degrees…

Andy Savage walks onto the screen and spins 180 to face Lisa
ANDY SAVAGE: 180 Degrees!!!

LISA: …but he’s gone another 360…

SAVAGE doing a 360 : Another 360!!!

LISA EVANS: …and then another 180…Nacho Man Andy Savage. You have changed over the last couple of months like I cannot believe, sir.

Having done another 180 turn the NachoMan is somehow still facing the wrong way, turning back to the camera he replies

SAVAGE: Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh I’m a chameleon. Yeah huh huh.

LISA: A chameleon?

SAVAGE: Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh! I’m talking about the beat goes on, yeah. And the beat goes on, yeah. And the beat goes on! And the videoscope, yeah, I am looking right into you right now. Nacho madness, right now. Sugar is sweet and so is honey. Nacho madness is on a roll and it can’t be stopped, no. The Nachoholics understand what I’m talking about, Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh

LISA: Why is it, Nacho Man, when I sit and talk to you, stand and talk to you for that matter, that I think of Taco Bell?

SAVAGE: Unbelievable. Time Distortions. Space is the place, Lisa Evans Go down that lonesome highway, yeah! But don’t be hypnotized, no. Reincarnation doesn’t have to be. You can concentrate and you can, uh, mental telepathy, yeah!

LISA: But the beat goes on?

SAVAGE: But the beat goes on.

LISA: That beat in particular has got to include, maybe Randy Borton, the new CMV Undisputed World champion. I know you’re not getting along real well with him right now, Nacho Man. Not at all.

SAVAGE: Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh Let me tell you something right now. Talking about the new champion is out of line, yeah! Cause I am the greatest champion there will be, and I’m the greatest professional wrestler that ever lived. And I’m living now, yeah! Right now, Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh

LISA: And do you think Triple H will give you a title shot when you have so few matches?

SAVAGE: He says I can’t sing and I can’t dance, but I can make romance, yeah! Right there the fork in the road. I said go right, the Nachoholics said go left. I went right and then, and then, I understand what the situation was. I went over that one bridge, yeah. And then, when I crossed that bridge I found out that I was on the right side. And I said Nachoholics follow me, yeah! Because I’m going straight to the top! The stars, yeah the stars. One shining star in the night shining brighter than all the other ones! And I’m talking light years away, Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh

Lisa: You’re talking Nacho madness.

SAVAGE: Nacho madness, Oooooooh yeeeeahhhhhh. Nacho madness rolling, yeah. You thought so, but I know so. And Nacho madness is coming straight at you, whoever Triple H wants to throw me up against. And I like it, yeah! Cause I’m on a roll and I ain’t stoppin’, yeah! Nachoholics go right and I’m going left!

LISA: Can I ask a question, Nacho Man?

SAVAGE: No more questions!