Osiris Interviews Slate

O S I R I S
YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!

[AIR HORN NOISES]

O S I R I S
Stay a while, PLEASE don't change that dial! It's the man with the plan and the magic hands. The one and only. The real, not phony. What up, peeps? It's ya boi, OSIRIIIIIIS!

Y’all are gonna love this one, because not only am I coming at you with 121.6FM, the country’s hottest sports talk radio program, but we received such rave reviews after my interview with CMV legend Guy., that we’re gonna run it back. This time around, though, I’m blessing y’all with TWO guests, cause you already s’know that I gotta one up myself.

Unfortunately, the other interviewee is running late, and our sponsors wouldn’t appreciate us holding up the show for him. But don’t let that get you down, cause I won’t be speaking with just any old schmuck. Nah, we only bring you the finest that wrestling has to offer and this man is a walking CMV Legend with a list of accomplishments and accolades that would take me hours to get through. So let’s get right to it, shall we? Ladies and Gentlemen please join me in welcoming to the show: Xander Slate!

Xander Slate
That’s KING Slate to you, you absolute buffoon. I take time out of my incredibly schedule to come to this disgusting, cramped, smelly station, and you disrespect me right off the bat? I bet you’re, what, like last in ratings?

O S I R I S
Actually, we’re fir--

Xander Slate
Shut up. This isn’t about you or this show. This is about me. So for once, try to do your job with some self-respect and ask me some questions.

[Osiris inhales deeply to compose himself.]

O S I R I S
So...KING Slate, tell me about this beef you’ve got with Bob Luger. This is a rivalry that’s rooted in some deep-seated animosity between the two of you. What’s your take on all this?

Xander Slate
Animosity. Animosity? Bob Luger WANTS me to be angry. Bob Luger wants me to be frothing at the mouth because he came back and cost me a match against...some clown who thinks he’s a wolf. I’m DONE doing what Bob wants. I’m not angry. I pity Bob. Without KLIQ, I became KING. But for him, without us there to CARRY him...well we all saw what happened two weeks ago.

O S I R I S
Funny you say that, because the last time YOU were in the ring with Brett--

Xander Slate
I took away BOB LUGER’S safety net. I kicked out his crutch from under him. I ripped away the ONE thing that was keeping him relevant these days. So many times he would fail and cry on my shoulder, and I got sick of it. It was time that I do what’s best for Xander Slate.

O S I R I S
And that’s aligning yourself with Pierre Thompson instead? You’ve jumped from one group to the next. How is this any different than KLIQ?

Xander Slate
How? Are you blind? Within SECONDS of us coming together, Pierre became International Champion, and he only lost it because that chump Tatum thought he could play with the big boys in the major leagues. No longer am I shackled to that deadweight Borton in a tag team, while Bob feasts and hogs all the glory. I know Pierre doesn’t need me to hold his hand every time something goes wrong. That’s more than I could EVER say about KLIQ!

O S I R I S
So you don’t see this as turning your back then? It’s a fresh start?

Xander Slate
I did what I had to. I wasn’t going to be saddled with babysitting Borton--AGAIN--because Bob decided to take his ball and go home--AGAIN! KLIQ this, KLIQ that. It’s like he’s stuck on repeat. Yeah, he’s stuck in the past because he’s scared there’s no future for him here in CMV, and quite frankly, there isn’t. I get better every.single.day. without even trying, really, while he doesn’t have two brands to hide behind anymore. Only the best of the best can cut it, and Bobby’s is gonna learn real quick when I END him, that he’s beneath me.

O S I R I S
You say that, and I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt--maybe there was a glitch in my stream--but it looked to me like you backed away when things between you two got physical. Perhaps you have a different explanation?

Xander Slate
How dare you even imply that I’d run from a fight with that has been? Not only did he cheapshot me, but I wasn’t even dressed for a fight? Do you think I was gonna risk scuffing my shoes over some joke who thinks he’s some kind of hero avenging a DYING group that I was the only one who had the guts to pull the plug on? Absolutely not.

O S I R I S
You’re right. It was definitely that sucker punch. How could I have been so foolish? Luckily, the official match between you two has indeed been made for Ascendance, where you’ll both kick things off on even ground. How about you give your friend Osiris the exclusive, eh? This can’t be any plain ol’ match between you two. I’m expecting a little spice. Am I right, or am I right?

Xander Slate
I’ll say this much. I want Bob Luger to regret EVER thinking it was a smart decision to come out of retirement and step to me. When I’m done with him, retirement won’t be an option anymore. Not only will he be unable to wrestle, he’ll be lucky if he can walk.

[KNOCKING NOISES]

O S I R I S
Oh that must be our other guest.

Slate scoffs and leans back in his char, sipping at his coffee that was complementary for him being a guest on the show. Meanwhile, one of Osiris' assistants let's the other guest inside. The door is behind Slate, so he doesn't feel the need to waste his energy in turning to see who's hogging his spotlight. However, the look on Osiris' face says it all.

O S I R I S
Luger don't!

Slate spits out his coffee and turns around to see Bob Luger rush him. He picks Slate up on his shoulder and tackles him onto the round table they were sitting at, smashing the blank computer screen that Slate was sitting in front of. Osiris is now up to his feet watching along with all of his studio employees as Luger wails on Slate. In between punches he screams out.......you.....STUPID......traitor!........He then looks up, stopping the attack, to smile at Osiris.

Bob Luger
Hey man, thanks for having me. Sorry i'm late.

And then he goes right back in on the attack. This time pulling Slate up off the table and slamming his head into one of the built in monitors on the wall, causing it to explode with sparks as Slate falls backwards, flat on his back with a bloodied face. All while Luger walks over him and picks up the mic Slate was using.

Bob Luger
Are we still live?

Osiris, reluctant to answer at first due to how Luger is crashing his studio, nods his head.

Bob Luger
Slate is nothing but a punk ass traitor who never had the BALLS to tell me how he really felt to my face. Instead he disrespected me and his "brothers" on twitter the moment I left. He thought he was on some sort of high horse, above us all. So i'm here to throw him off. I'm his decent. And I won't stop, until he's BURIED!

At this point, Slate is stirring so Bob walks back over to him, however Slate using the little bit of power he hasn't bled out of that nasty gash on his forehead to push Luger over the table and head for the door. Stumbling out of the studio.

Bob Luger
I thought you don't run from fights bud! Isn't that what you said?

Luger steps back off the table, not phased by the attack and pursues his target.

Bob Luger
That's right, I was listening on the car ride here. Every word you said.

As Slate makes it into the lobby, Bob meets him by throwing him over the counter, causing the receptionist to scream and move out of the way. Luger hops over to the other side and stomps on Slate's back a few times before bringing him back up to his feet and shoving him against the wall, staring in his eyes.

Bob Luger
I've been sitting on this a long time. You......are not......safe! YOU HEAR ME??

For the first time in a long time, Slate feels a rush of fear. Not just from the attack, but by the look in Luger's eyes. A look of promise.

O S I R I S
I'm sorry Bob but you gotta go. One of my employees already called the cops.

He looks back at Slate, who seems to be fading out of it. He releases his hold of him, allowing him to slide down the wall on his ass.

Bob Luger
Wheres his crown?

O S I R I S
He had me store it in my office.

Luger follows the direction that Osiris is pointing before returning with the crown. He then puts it on his head and kneels down, smacking Slate to wake him enough to get his message.

Bob Luger
This is mine now, bitch.

And with that, he strolls out of the studio while some of Osiris' workers check on Slate. Osiris just shakes his head with a sly smile growing on his face.