“Slow Down or Break Down”

by Maurie Sun Sep 02, 2018 11:10 am

Kevin Vulture, following his Genesis debut, takes a long walk to the exit door with a towel around his neck. Lisa Evans approaches him from behind.

Lisa Evans
Kevin, would you mind giving a few words on your match with Dule Zaire tonight?

Kevin removes the towel from his neck and wipes the sweat from his drenched forehead.

Kevin Vulture
Thirty years. Thirty damn years, Lisa. I’ve been wrestling for thirty years and not once have I seen a mockery like that. This “big man” doing flips and still being able to toss me around. It’s time these boys learn their roles. At this rate the vanilla midgets will start doing gorilla presses and the technicians will start throwing haymakers. I come from a background of watching stinger splashes and leg drops. These kids are about to come to a realization that they’ll never be this great. And the reason I say that is because they won’t make it to my stature or match my longevity. These days, there’s no difference between their debuts and their retirements. They never slow down and that’s why they break down. When you have a thirty year career and make it to a place like this, you become annoyed. I’m annoyed that when they hit 30, they’ll be in the hospital crying about how they can no longer do a Moonsault or a Tope. So when you find a 49 year slice of perfection like me, you get a glimpse of the end goal from playing your role to the greatest degree. Next week, tell that Constable I want to fight someone who plays their role.

Kevin drops his towel on the ground and leaves.