Dashing Tips 2: Clothing Options part 1

As the season premiere of Genesis continues, the Titantron goes black as slowly, letters begin to pop up, one by one. D... A... S... H... until the screen read Dashing Tips! The screen started to gain color, and we could see Tyson Cage staring at himself in the mirror. Not seeing the camera filming him, he flexes with the look of astonishment on his face. Then he realized the camera, and let's a devious smirk out.

Tyson: Oh, welcome!

Tyson gets distracted by his reflection again before snapping out of it to continue speaking.

Tyson: Right, sorry ugos, got a little distracted by something Dashing. But today, I will give you some tips on what type of clothes you should wear. Since I can't cover every article of clothing in one segment to help your hot mess that you got rocking on, I am gonna to show you it part by part. This week, we are gonna be talking about your top choices.

Tyson starts to walk over to the closet. And he begins to open it, but before opening it up all the way, he closes it quickly, and starts to gag.

Tyson: Oh good, couldn't CMV afford any better looking shirt. Dammit, ok ugos, this one is for you I guess. This is shirt number 1.

Tyson pulls out the first shirt, it was a "I Will Sting You" Crowe t shirts. Tyson was struggling to not through up.


Tyson: Oh God, what was this man thinking. This is unacceptable, the colors are so 2017, it just look bad. And that font, it is so last season. Ok, so if you own this shirt, you either gonna want to wear it inside out, or you gonna want to do this.

Tyson drops the shirt in a trash can. He reaches into the closet and pulls out a "Fallen Angel" Jon Reed shirt.
Tyson struggles not to vomit at the sight of the shirt's design.

Tyson: Now this shirt is perfect. Perfect if your going to a satanic cult meeting. It has a demon and everything, only thing it missing is some god awful tattoos. But, for someone that is gonna try to look like a decent member of society, just don't wear this shirt.

Tyson tosses the shirt into the trash. And begins to pull a shirt out of the closet. He pulls a "Bickering Duo" Tyson Cage and Suraci Shirt, and he pauses as he stares off into it, completely silent.

It seemed for a second, that the The Bickering Duo Tyson was breaking through, and Tyson was on the verge of a breakdown.
Tyson carefully places it into the trash can.

Tyson: That shirt is a nice one, appropriate for public, yes. Should it be thrown out no. I mean yes, it brings back memories of what could of been, and that a lesson for another time. Let's move on.

Tyson reached into the closet and grabbed the new "Dashing Tyson Cage" Tyson Cage T Shirt.

And his cockiness returns in full.

Tyson:And this here is a perfect, wait no, it's Dashing. This is the New Tyson Cage Shirt. It goes great with everything. Comes in all colors, and is made with the finest Egyptian Cotton. Go on, Buy it.

Tyson sets the shirt back into closet and pulls out a box of matches from his back pocket.

Tyson: And remember, No matter what you do. You will always be an Ugo.

Tyson lights the match and drops it into the trash can, setting it a blaze. As the camera to black and regains color, we are at the announcers table where Mr. Dashing is looking at two different shirts when he realizes that the camera I'd on him, and he quickly hides them.