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Ricky Spanish Presents "The Big Brown Breakdown" Episode 4. Xander Slate
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Ricky Spanish Presents "The Big Brown Breakdown" Episode 4. Xander Slate
by Miztacular Wed May 30, 2018 3:36 am
The go home show of Genesis kicks off with an explosion of pyro. The camera pans around the arena as the crowd roar in excitement, up on their feet for anticipation of what is sure to be one hell of a show to close before Home Coming this Sunday, and after a solid sixty seconds or so, the lights in the arena begin to fade, the crowd along with it. With the arena now pitch black, and the crowd dead silent, fuelled by curiosity as they await what is to come.
???:
Hold your mothers, hold your wives and prepare to taste this backhand! Because there's a new don in this town!
The crowd pops to their feet upon realisation of what is about to happen, for the first time in over a month, and for the first time in the history of Genesis, the appearance of Ricky Spanish is upon us!
Ricky Spanish:
Now calm yourselves and let the show begin!
The crowd once again quiet down as the theme of the one and only Big Brown Breakdown hits the PA System.
As the theme plays around the PA system, the crowd once again stand upright in cheer for the arrival of Ricky Spanish, the titantron flashes with the Big Brown Breakdown Graphic and the crowd erupts once again.
The graphic fades after a few moments to reveal the classic Ricky Spanish studio we know and love, the disco ball lights up the empty studio as the music continues to blare throughout the arena when all of a sudden the beat is broken by the voice of Spanish himself.
Ricky Spanish:
Ladies and Gentlemen it's time for the segment you all know and love! The segment of the year, the moment that will surely steal the show! The Big Brown Breakdown!
The microphone cuts out, but the beat remains hotter than a cobra, fresh out of the oven. The crowd looks on in curiosity wondering what beautiful costume Spanish will rock this time. Moments pass by until out of nowhere. The sound of whistles chirp through the PA System, and out comes Ricky Spanish, rocking a blonde wig, some running shorts, and the patented jacket Bob Luger wore before the break up of KLIQ. Spanish turns towards the camera, flicking his eyebrows as he gyrates his hips with the kind of intensity that even Shakira couldn't match. Ricky continues to move to the beat and at the opportune time, falls back into the recliner as per usual. He spreads his arms wide and spins around towards the camera raising his eyebrow to the beat.
Ricky Spanish:
Tonight's episode of The Big Brown Breakdown, is to all the mothers out there, who lost their favourite son, and have been left with a mediocre slacker in their place. Left with a man who had one moment in the sun and rides it until the end of time, grinding it into the dirt in an attempt to break out of his lost brothers shadow. In fact! This Sunday, I'll step into the ring one on one with a man who defines mediocrity! In fact, tonight's show is specially dedicated to his mother! Wherever you are Mrs Slate, I'll see you soon.
You see, Xander Slate fits my description perfectly! He was on top of the world for a month, THREE YEARS AGO! But still walks around like the don of this town. But the fact of the matter is, he lost his brother! Bob Luger! A man so much better than him, a man who he desperately tries to replicate. Mommy Slate was always proud of Luger, but what about ole Slatey Baby. I feel for you Xander. But just as you've got your mothers affection back. I'll be here to take it away!
Xander take a look at this MAJESTIC chest hair, hair of the gods, look at this well groomed hair! The hair of a champion! But then look at you! Old, frail, and past his prime. There was a time when you were adequate, but now you're just trucking along holding onto the coat tails of your "good brother". I'm sure that's why you haven't been able to keep me out of your thoughts! You took one look at this figure and you thought to yourself! Damn I was one tenth as good looking as that when I was relevant, maybe I can re live the glory days. But this look, this figure is one of the many things I have to offer, take a look at my fingers, I got a couple pounds of gold around them ready to land heavy and hot on your cheeks! I'll leave a mark on your face Xander, a mark that shows the world that you are nothing but my bitch. I'll bruise your face red like the medium rare steak I'll have your mother make me after I'm done with you.
Ricky Spanish winks towards the camera before dropping off the screen, searching under his desk for his patented big black box. He brings it up onto the screen and busts it open and begins to dig around, looking for his shining golden rings. In the process he finds some very peculiar things. A wet flannel, his fake moustache "Brenda" and a small packet containing some sort of white powder. Spanish's eyes widen and he quickly throws the packet off screen and pulls out his rings. Placing them one by one upon his fingers.
Ricky Spanish:
I can imagine it now Xander! Your cheek rippling like a cup of water on the bedside counter in your mothers bedroom after an evening with me. A mark left on your face notifying the world of your beta position to me. Just like Anthony Brown, just like Ringo Maxx, just like Zack Starr, just like D'Angelo St. Daniels and just like Sunshine, I will OWN you. I'm sure you want to know HOW I'll pull this off. Well let me tell you how!
HIT THE MUSIC!
Spanish falls to his knee's as the music drops and the lights once again begin to dim in his studio.
As the dimmer switches rotate, the room lightens up to Spanish bobbing his head to the tunes, still rocking the Luger get up. As usual a rope drops from the ceiling to the side of him, Ricky lets out a rough grunt as he pulls on the rope, and out of nowhere, water drops from the ceiling soaking him through. Spanish looks towards the camera and continues to bob his head to the music as he talks.
Ricky Spanish:
Xander, buddy! You wanted to know where I was, baby I'm right here! On the Big Brown Breakdown, B CUBED! But an old man like you, I don't expect you to be able to put things together, that old man brain of yours. Let me remind you what the very essence of the Big Brown Breakdown is. I'm gonna take you and your career and I'm going to break it down, I'm gonna show the world how much of a phony you are. The first ever money in the bank holder, was on top of the world, only to move on to playing second fiddle to Luger and now Borton. Desperate for affection. Take a look at your career! You've always had to have someone by your side, patting you on the back, telling you you're good! It's like you're hiring a hooker for the girlfriend experience. First the Industry, then The Coalition or whatever that was called, then KLIQ and now The Good Brothers. But there's one thing, more than anything else, that you, Borton, and everybody on the roster lacks that prevents them from greatness. I've said it before, and I'm gonna say it again, you know what that fault is!
Ricky Spanish leaps to his feet, where he rips off his Luger attire revealing his normal outfit. He glares into the camera with a look of Intensity that would make Maurice Fischer proud. He begins to speak into the camera, with a much more aggressive tone.
Ricky Spanish:
YOU AIN'T NO RICKY SPANISH BITCH!
Xander, let me take a moment out of your day to tell you exactly what I'm going to do to you, the exact same thing I've done to the rest of the Big Brown Breakdown Alumni. Xander this Sunday, I'm gonna hope on a plane, my private jet, I'm gonna fly to the stadium in which Home Coming takes place, we're gonna step in the ring toe to toe for about five seconds until your face crashes to floor upon receiving my backhand across your face. You'll be out cold, probably dribbling, like the old, disgusting man you are. One moment in the ring with me is all it'll take to add you to the list of men that have fallen to the RINGS! You don't know who you're messing with Xander, I'm Ricky Spanish god dammit! This Sunday, you'll try to step out of the shadow of Bob Luger, and in doing so you'll get caught by a hammer and get SQUASHED.
But that's only the first part of the pounding that'll happen this Sunday Xander. Because after I've left you a bloody mess in the center of the ring. I'll get back on my private jet, I'll fly to that rundown state of Connecticut and start handing out SMACKS to everybody who doesn't bow down and kiss the ring. All the way up to your mothers house, where the pounding will continue if you catch my drift. Then after I'm finished with her. I'll join the long list of men you called daddy in your sob story of a childhood.
I look forward to this Sunday, where you'll become another one of my bitches.
And with that, the camera cuts immediately, allowing room for our first match of the evening to begin.
???:
Hold your mothers, hold your wives and prepare to taste this backhand! Because there's a new don in this town!
The crowd pops to their feet upon realisation of what is about to happen, for the first time in over a month, and for the first time in the history of Genesis, the appearance of Ricky Spanish is upon us!
Ricky Spanish:
Now calm yourselves and let the show begin!
The crowd once again quiet down as the theme of the one and only Big Brown Breakdown hits the PA System.
As the theme plays around the PA system, the crowd once again stand upright in cheer for the arrival of Ricky Spanish, the titantron flashes with the Big Brown Breakdown Graphic and the crowd erupts once again.
The graphic fades after a few moments to reveal the classic Ricky Spanish studio we know and love, the disco ball lights up the empty studio as the music continues to blare throughout the arena when all of a sudden the beat is broken by the voice of Spanish himself.
Ricky Spanish:
Ladies and Gentlemen it's time for the segment you all know and love! The segment of the year, the moment that will surely steal the show! The Big Brown Breakdown!
The microphone cuts out, but the beat remains hotter than a cobra, fresh out of the oven. The crowd looks on in curiosity wondering what beautiful costume Spanish will rock this time. Moments pass by until out of nowhere. The sound of whistles chirp through the PA System, and out comes Ricky Spanish, rocking a blonde wig, some running shorts, and the patented jacket Bob Luger wore before the break up of KLIQ. Spanish turns towards the camera, flicking his eyebrows as he gyrates his hips with the kind of intensity that even Shakira couldn't match. Ricky continues to move to the beat and at the opportune time, falls back into the recliner as per usual. He spreads his arms wide and spins around towards the camera raising his eyebrow to the beat.
Ricky Spanish:
Tonight's episode of The Big Brown Breakdown, is to all the mothers out there, who lost their favourite son, and have been left with a mediocre slacker in their place. Left with a man who had one moment in the sun and rides it until the end of time, grinding it into the dirt in an attempt to break out of his lost brothers shadow. In fact! This Sunday, I'll step into the ring one on one with a man who defines mediocrity! In fact, tonight's show is specially dedicated to his mother! Wherever you are Mrs Slate, I'll see you soon.
You see, Xander Slate fits my description perfectly! He was on top of the world for a month, THREE YEARS AGO! But still walks around like the don of this town. But the fact of the matter is, he lost his brother! Bob Luger! A man so much better than him, a man who he desperately tries to replicate. Mommy Slate was always proud of Luger, but what about ole Slatey Baby. I feel for you Xander. But just as you've got your mothers affection back. I'll be here to take it away!
Xander take a look at this MAJESTIC chest hair, hair of the gods, look at this well groomed hair! The hair of a champion! But then look at you! Old, frail, and past his prime. There was a time when you were adequate, but now you're just trucking along holding onto the coat tails of your "good brother". I'm sure that's why you haven't been able to keep me out of your thoughts! You took one look at this figure and you thought to yourself! Damn I was one tenth as good looking as that when I was relevant, maybe I can re live the glory days. But this look, this figure is one of the many things I have to offer, take a look at my fingers, I got a couple pounds of gold around them ready to land heavy and hot on your cheeks! I'll leave a mark on your face Xander, a mark that shows the world that you are nothing but my bitch. I'll bruise your face red like the medium rare steak I'll have your mother make me after I'm done with you.
Ricky Spanish winks towards the camera before dropping off the screen, searching under his desk for his patented big black box. He brings it up onto the screen and busts it open and begins to dig around, looking for his shining golden rings. In the process he finds some very peculiar things. A wet flannel, his fake moustache "Brenda" and a small packet containing some sort of white powder. Spanish's eyes widen and he quickly throws the packet off screen and pulls out his rings. Placing them one by one upon his fingers.
Ricky Spanish:
I can imagine it now Xander! Your cheek rippling like a cup of water on the bedside counter in your mothers bedroom after an evening with me. A mark left on your face notifying the world of your beta position to me. Just like Anthony Brown, just like Ringo Maxx, just like Zack Starr, just like D'Angelo St. Daniels and just like Sunshine, I will OWN you. I'm sure you want to know HOW I'll pull this off. Well let me tell you how!
HIT THE MUSIC!
Spanish falls to his knee's as the music drops and the lights once again begin to dim in his studio.
As the dimmer switches rotate, the room lightens up to Spanish bobbing his head to the tunes, still rocking the Luger get up. As usual a rope drops from the ceiling to the side of him, Ricky lets out a rough grunt as he pulls on the rope, and out of nowhere, water drops from the ceiling soaking him through. Spanish looks towards the camera and continues to bob his head to the music as he talks.
Ricky Spanish:
Xander, buddy! You wanted to know where I was, baby I'm right here! On the Big Brown Breakdown, B CUBED! But an old man like you, I don't expect you to be able to put things together, that old man brain of yours. Let me remind you what the very essence of the Big Brown Breakdown is. I'm gonna take you and your career and I'm going to break it down, I'm gonna show the world how much of a phony you are. The first ever money in the bank holder, was on top of the world, only to move on to playing second fiddle to Luger and now Borton. Desperate for affection. Take a look at your career! You've always had to have someone by your side, patting you on the back, telling you you're good! It's like you're hiring a hooker for the girlfriend experience. First the Industry, then The Coalition or whatever that was called, then KLIQ and now The Good Brothers. But there's one thing, more than anything else, that you, Borton, and everybody on the roster lacks that prevents them from greatness. I've said it before, and I'm gonna say it again, you know what that fault is!
Ricky Spanish leaps to his feet, where he rips off his Luger attire revealing his normal outfit. He glares into the camera with a look of Intensity that would make Maurice Fischer proud. He begins to speak into the camera, with a much more aggressive tone.
Ricky Spanish:
YOU AIN'T NO RICKY SPANISH BITCH!
Xander, let me take a moment out of your day to tell you exactly what I'm going to do to you, the exact same thing I've done to the rest of the Big Brown Breakdown Alumni. Xander this Sunday, I'm gonna hope on a plane, my private jet, I'm gonna fly to the stadium in which Home Coming takes place, we're gonna step in the ring toe to toe for about five seconds until your face crashes to floor upon receiving my backhand across your face. You'll be out cold, probably dribbling, like the old, disgusting man you are. One moment in the ring with me is all it'll take to add you to the list of men that have fallen to the RINGS! You don't know who you're messing with Xander, I'm Ricky Spanish god dammit! This Sunday, you'll try to step out of the shadow of Bob Luger, and in doing so you'll get caught by a hammer and get SQUASHED.
But that's only the first part of the pounding that'll happen this Sunday Xander. Because after I've left you a bloody mess in the center of the ring. I'll get back on my private jet, I'll fly to that rundown state of Connecticut and start handing out SMACKS to everybody who doesn't bow down and kiss the ring. All the way up to your mothers house, where the pounding will continue if you catch my drift. Then after I'm finished with her. I'll join the long list of men you called daddy in your sob story of a childhood.
I look forward to this Sunday, where you'll become another one of my bitches.
And with that, the camera cuts immediately, allowing room for our first match of the evening to begin.
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Re: Ricky Spanish Presents "The Big Brown Breakdown" Episode 4. Xander Slate
by Batman Thu May 31, 2018 8:44 am
And your NEEEEEEEW PUNK OUT CHAMPION
RICKY SPANISH!
RICKY SPANISH!
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Similar topics» Ricky Spanish Presents "The Big Brown Breakdown" Episode 3. DSD
» It's All About Xander Slate
» Ricky Spanish Presents: The Big Brown Breakdown
» "Who is Ricky Spanish"
» The Bible! As Written By Ricky Spanish
» It's All About Xander Slate
» Ricky Spanish Presents: The Big Brown Breakdown
» "Who is Ricky Spanish"
» The Bible! As Written By Ricky Spanish
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