Exclusive Interview with Jason Spade!

Troy Garter: Good morning everyone, my name is Troy Garter with the Independent Wrestling Network. We are live from the recording studio in Denver, Colorado. Today I'm joined by a rather controversial figure this week, who's sudden departure and return from CMV has left many people asking questions that I hope to answer here today. Please welcome my guest at this time... "The Outlaw" Jason Spade.

Jason Spade: Thanks, Troy. Before we continue, I'd like to state for the record that I'll only be answering the questions that I've provided to you here on these index cards.

Silence, as papers are exchanged.

Troy: This is very unusual, Jason, especially for you. I always thought you preferred your interviews unscripted.

Jason: I don't have all day, Troy. Move it along.

Troy: Very well. Ahem... "On June 25th, you announced your departure from CMV Wrestling, yet in just a few short weeks you were back on the show with no explanation. Would you care to provide said explanation?"

Jason: Certainly. At the time, I had fully intended to leave CMV and pursue other opportunities. However, I changed my mind.

An awkward silence.

Troy: Well, uh... Did your decision to leave have anything to do with your loss to Perry Heenan?

Jason: Stick to the script.

Troy: Okay, fair enough. "In your brief absence, what did you do with your free time?"

Jason: An excellent question. While I was away from CMV, I traveled around. I went back home to Troy for some rest and relaxation, before I traveled to Japan and studied the art of Strong Style. I also traveled to South Korea to re-train some of my Taekwondo skills, and before returning home I stopped in Mexico and studied some Lucha Libre. Being the premier athlete that I am, I was able to seamlessly combine all three arts into a hybrid style that I decided to bring back to CMV.

Troy: Impressive. You did all that in four weeks?

Jason: I'll allow that question because it's a good one. Yes, I did. Because I'm the best goddamn wrestler in the world, and it's about time I started acting like it. Next question, and it better be from those index cards.

Troy: "On the most recent episode of CMV Aftermath, you defeated current CMV Zero G Champion,  DRH. A victory over the champion is sure to be the stepping stone to a championship opportunity. Do you have any plans to pursue the Zero G championship?"

Jason: Yes, I do. DRH is good, and because he's good- almost as good as I am- I allowed him the courtesy to shake my hand after I beat him. And because I beat him, as far as I'm concerned, he no longer deserves that championship. As far as I'm concerned, I am the Zero G champion, and it's only a matter of time before I beat DRH a second time and make it official. It's not an "if", it's a "when".

Troy: "Upon your return, many people have commented that you appear to be more aggressive and prone to less-than-noble actions while inside the ring. Do you care to comment on that?"

Jason: No.

Another awkward silence.

Troy: Surely you have something to say about that? I mean, you don't even want to--?

Jason: If I have to remind you to stick to the script again, then this interview is over.

Troy: This is my show, not yours, and I decide when the interviews are over. Now, tell me--

Jason: Goodbye, Mr. Garter.

Jason headset smacks against the table, and a door opens and closes.

Troy: Well... That was Jason Spade, everyone. After a word from our sponsors, we have an inspirational story of a man in Mexico who's dreams came true after he "wished upon a star". We'll be back after this.

Ooh. Like the promo