The Brett Angel Show: A Show Hosted By Brett Angel

by **Shay UA** Wed Aug 28, 2019 9:18 pm

Brett Angel’s music hits the speakers with such FORCE that it threatens to shatter the foundation on which this building stands crushing all those within it.

But that doesn’t happen.

Because that would be unrealistic.

Instead, the shockwave generated by the music merely causes the building to lean slightly to the left. Angel, who’s now walking onto the stage, stumbles as the ground beneath him shifts. He plays it off, focusing his attention on the people who swarm behind him with various pieces of furniture and decorations.

One man, the size of Jason Spade, but the strength of Hayden “Blade” Kiteley, single-handedly carries a two-cushion couch and places it on the right side of the stage. It takes three men, in contrast, to bring out a simple stool that’s set down a few feet away from the couch. Meanwhile, a group of fresh-faced interns get to work hanging up a banner over the mintron.

— BRETT ANGEL —
I had a lot of time to think about what happened last week.

He sighs, perhaps a little too loudly, as he sits on the couch.

— BRETT ANGEL —
I thought about how I lost my chance to remove Xander Slate from the face of the Earth at Ascendance. I thought about how I gained a chance to--maybe not remove-- but slightly fade Shay Hoxton from the face of the Earth. In that scenario, he’d at least have a hope of recovering and having a respectable career competing at a fraction of the level that he did before.

Sacrifices, right?

That’s what this life of ours is all about. It’s a pull and a push. It’s a give and a take. It’s a Slate and a Hoxton. And I must say, Shay, life certainly threw me a curveball when you came crying at my doorstep, soaked from the pouring rain, shirt torn, one shoe missing, a booger hanging from your nose--hair still in pristine condition, though--telling me this and that about your hero, the man you idolized, looked up to--literally, up to at the posters hanging on your wall so that it was the last thing you saw when you went to sleep and the first thing you saw when you woke up--you learned your hero is human.

And that’s a damn shame.

Angel puts his feet up on the couch now, as though we were in his living room binge-watching the latest season of Bob’s Burgers.

— BRETT ANGEL —
So I thought I’d make it up to you. You, of course, being Shay Hoxton: the kid who found out Santa isn’t real but still expects a present under the tree come Christmas. So here’s my gift to you: a chance at history.

In an impressive motion, Angel somehow dramatically yet lazily motions to the banner behind him. It just as dramatically, yet lazily, unfurls behind him eventually revealing the handwritten text: THE BRETT ANGEL SHOW: A SHOW HOSTED BY BRETT ANGEL.

— BRETT ANGEL —
Since Bobby has all but snatched our King from my guillotine, I’ve decided to take something from him: the idea for my very own, and my very first talk show! After last week’s events, it’s obvious who the first guest should be: someone who we all know has a lot to say, and wants the biggest possible audience to say it to. So, please join me in welcoming the inaugural guest; I can already feel the ratings soaring! Who else could it be but--

Angel pulls off his scarf and sets it down on the coach next to him.

— BRETT ANGEL —
--my baby girl!

A majority of the crowd, except Jamie, Chris and Oliver, burst out into laughter. Even better, the interns begin using a t-shirt gun to shoot replica scarves into the audience.

— BRETT ANGEL —
Don’t worry folks--plastic, not barbed wire. We learned our lesson from consumer testing. Hopefully the right batch made it into final production. But I’ll let you all sort that out. What I’m here to do is get your opinion on what went down last week, baby girl. You can be honest with me, do you agree with what the rook said about your old man?

Angel nods his head, listening intently. Some members of the crowd even shush their particularly noisy neighbors so that Angel doesn’t miss a word.

— BRETT ANGEL —
He was a bit rude, wasn’t he? What’s so special about him compared to my other disappointed fans to make him think he had the right to talk to me the way he did? I also want to come back to that comment you made about him probably eating soup with his bare hands, because the second point you made was especially poignant: he is lucky I kept you in check. You were thirsty for carnage, and I was the only one standing between him and a tragic ending. While we’re on the subject, what exactly would you have done to him had I let you off the leash?

I see my reflection change.

A response booms out, shifting the building back to perfect balance. This response does not come from the talkative scarf, no no, but rather something much greater.

A soundsystem.

Nothing ever stays the same, but you know the name's the game.
We all know what it means, nothing's ever what it seems. Unforgiven, unforeseen.

Summoned by the truly iconic tune, Shay Hoxton walks onto center stage in a classy blue suit with a mic in hand. With the wave of a hand, the theme cuts out.

— BRETT ANGEL —
Don’t tell me I scheduled you both at the same time! How awkward.

“Listen, you gotta forgive me, it’s my first time, there’s gonna be some growing pains.”
Wow….it feels like I just quoted something you’ve said at some point. Maybe I should be calling you my hero, what adversities you’ve surely had to overcome.

With a smile on his face, Shay shrugs at Angel. He brings up his microphone.

— SHAY HOXTON —
Hey no worries, I’ve been there before. My first talk show had everything: a little person dressed like Jason Spade, an army man with PTSD, a real Canadian, and of course, a whole lot of technical problems! So trust me, don’t worry about it!

Besides, it’s not like disappointing everyone is anything new to you! Carry on without a care friend, buddy, amigo.

Shay walks over towards the couch, plopping himself right onto the nearby stool. The stool is uncomfortably high, leaving Shay off the ground despite his beautifully long legs. Unlike Shay’s perfect legs, one of the stool’s does wobble when sat on.

— SHAY HOXTON —
Ah, I see you’ve spared no expense. Truly a classy broad. Give him a round of applause for his excellent hostmanship, everybody.

Shay begins to clap, leading the entire crowd to follow suit. Soon the entire audience is applauding, some even giving Angel a standing ovation. This show of love lasts for a good minute and seven seconds before finally quieting down, except for one person who waits to clap last.

— SHAY HOXTON —
You know Angel, typically I do enjoy a game of one-upsmanship, but after that mastery of a speech by Ms. Baby Girl here, I’m perfectly content with taking sloppy seconds. Please, a round of applause for her!

Shay once more begins to clap, everybody quickly following suit. Mercifully, this one only lasts about thirty four and a half seconds before coming to an end.

— SHAY HOXTON —
Mmm, yes. Now Brett, since you are, “only human”, you may accidentally be stuck filling for time. I know I was. Instead, let me give you a hand with some rapid fire to get those awkward ice breakers, that way we can get to the juicy things. My favorite color is yellow, my first pet was a cat named Whiskey, I use Aussie hair products, my mother’s maiden name is Provolone, and the three digits on the back of my credit card are 475.

Now that we’ve gotten the basics out of the way, please, Brett, what have you prepared for us today? Don’t worry, I’m not expecting much this time, I would hate to be disappointed again, especially because it would be my fault to have any expectations whatsoever.

Angel nods attentively.

— BRETT ANGEL —
Right, right--see, I already knew your credit card number. Unfortunately, that stool was the most we could afford using it because somebody here has a pretty bad credit score. Now, Shay, I wonder why that could be?

He puts his feet up on the couch.

— BRETT ANGEL —
Hang on, I’m sure you have an answer, but I want to throw a theory out there. Perhaps, and this is just a shot in the dark, perhaps it all began when the first boxer in your life let you down? He took you under his wing, he took you to Mexico, but he couldn’t take you to the top of the business. Addiction. It’s a serious thing. Alcohol and Brandon Rayne is one thing, but meth? Whoo, boy, that’s some serious shit. Musta hurt when Uncle...Fister, was it?...left you with all that debt you had to gamble to pay away.

Hoxton shifts a little on his stool.

— BRETT ANGEL —
I guess I’m supposed to ask you a question, ain’t I? Here’s one: How’s he doing these days?

— SHAY HOXTON —
He’s fine.

Hoxton immediately responds, a tinge of anger clear as day.

— SHAY HOXTON —
Great, even. Clean now. He actually started working with Jason Spade recently, taught him all those lucha moves.

I know it isn’t my place as a… guest, but let me ask you a question now. Is there a reason you’re bringing this up? A guy falling to a serious problem like addiction, is that funny to you? Is that a joke? Haha, good one, give it a good laugh, everybody.

Shay looks to the crowd, letting out a stone faced laugh, but nobody laughs in response.

— SHAY HOXTON —
You know Brett, everybody makes mistakes, Doug Fister, my trainer, my mentor, he’s only human. Isn’t that what you keep preaching? He was at the top of the food chain, he inspired me, then he fell. He fell hard, and he hurt everyone around him in the process.

Hoxton sneers at Angel.

— SHAY HOXTON —
I guess I have a type. However, when he was called out, he didn’t whine, and cry, and blame others for liking him in the first place. He didn’t ask for pity, or feign ignorance over his problems. He asked for help. He asked for help, he fixed himself, and he cleaned himself up. He didn’t sit on his couch, acting like he was innocent like a goddamn coward.

Hypothetically, of course.

Who knows, Brett, maybe I should give you his number. He can train you how to do a hurricanrana, or train you to speak spanish, or maybe train you to be a decent human being.

Angel tilts his head to the side.

— BRETT ANGEL —
Do I really need help? Do I, amaygo? The more I’m learning about you, the more it feels like you don’t know what to do with yourself when there’s nobody around to hold your hand. It’s a shame you weren’t on my side of the pond when big papa Pat was alive and kicking; I bet he woulda loved you like the son he always wanted. You’re stuck with me, and I don’t really think you want me to be a decent human being for my own benefit.

Angel’s voice softens as though he were speaking to an adolescent.

— BRETT ANGEL —
You’re in a new company, new faces, new surroundings--it’s scary. Trust me, no one knows better than me what it’s like walking through this world alone. There’s only one brand now. The competition to be the best and to be at the top is stiffer now than it ever has been before. You’re worried you’ll choke under the pressure, ain’t ya? So you want me to be somebody I just can’t be anymore to make you feel better just like the good ol’ days--like a child crying out for his blankie cause the house he just moved into is making sounds he isn’t used to. I wonder if Doug felt the same way I do now. Tell me, was addiction an issue for him before he met you?

The crowd gasps in shock before falling silent. Thousands of people, and yet the drop of a single pen could be heard. Shay just sits there, wide eyed and shaking his head. His eyes jet closed, as he starts gritting his teeth.

— SHAY HOXTON —
You know it wasn’t…

The gambler’s breathing becomes erratic.

— SHAY HOXTON —
You low son of a…

Tell me this, Angel, what is it you want to hear? Huh? What? What? What?!

Are you trying to show off how I’m not perfect? How I’m not a good guy? Is that what you’re trying to say?

Shay gets off the stool, taking a step towards Brett Angel.

— SHAY HOXTON —
Well guess what, I know I’m not a good guy, everybody knows I’m not a good guy. I’m awful, I’m the scum of the Earth! We all know it! I manipulate people, I lie to them! I hurt people for a living! I-I once robbed a man’s grave, just to piss off his best friend! I faked my own death and lied to all my friends just to get revenge! I sleep with mothers, and make sure we’re loud enough for their children to hear! I ate a dog on my one trip to Asia! I kidnapped a guy’s teacher and held him at gunpoint! If I could get immunity for one day, I would kick a baby, just to see how it feels!

Shay grabs the stool he was sitting on and throws it into the covered up minitron, shattering the stool into multiple pieces.

I’m a bad guy! I have always been a bad guy! I don’t know why, it’s just who I am! People don’t like me, and I give them reasons why, it’s in my DNA!

Shay’s voice starts to waver, but only for a moment. He stares straight into Brett Angel’s eyes.

— SHAY HOXTON —
Brett, have you ever once, even for a second, stopped thinking about yourself and started thinking about others? About why someone like me would even look up to someone like you to begin with? Look at you! You’re beloved! Just saying your name gets an entire arena excited! You’re the guy everyone wants to work with! You’re the guy everyone wants to be! You’re the guy who made something of himself, despite what life threw at you! When your wife died, it hurt. No shit it hurt! That would crush anyone, but you, you became one of the greatest wrestlers in the sport’s history! Life kicked out your knee, and you still spat in its face!

Now look at me! I was raised with nothing! Ran off to a country I knew nothing about, just to lose the only person I knew! I was miserable! But I looked at you, and I overcame. I restarted my wrestling career, and became one of the top wrestlers in history! I’ve had companies that I’ve put countless drops blood sweat and tears close down on me, leaving me without a job. I’ve had my knee split in half for no reason by a man I thought was my friend! I’ve lost everything I’ve ever worked for ripped away from me!

But at the end of the day, I overcame, because you showed me I could. There was only one hurdle left that I had to jump, only one before I could go from who I am to who I wanted to be.

Shay moves his hand up, pointing directly at his heart.

— SHAY HOXTON —
I came to you, so many months ago when we first met, for help. Help to not be a bad guy anymore. To have the master of overcoming adversity help me become who I wanted to be. But you know who I met with instead? I met with a victim. A sad shell who gave up. I didn’t get the man I’ve looked up to, I got told that the guy I wanted to be never existed at all.

And now here that man is, blaming me for getting attached, telling me that all of my problems are my fault. You said you’re just human? You’re right, you’re just human, and humans are evil things.

Kevin Silva, defender of Genesis, whittled down to a man who can’t accept failure. PJ Moon, the colorful unicorn, broken into a greedy traitor, and now a liar, blind to the evil within. Jason Spade, the superhero of professional wrestling, now an angry person with no self confidence. Percy Simmons, the guy with aspirations high as the sky, now a traitor and a coward. Stephan Hastings, a bright young kid, now a selfish little prick who betrayed his own family.

Brett Angel. Once a “hero.” Now a coward. Now a liar. Now a hypocrite.

Problem is, there was no big break, was there? All of those people, they were always evil, everyone always is. Now they’re just showing their true colors.

Shay turns his back on Angel, slowly walking away.

— SHAY HOXTON —
Fine. That’s fine. It’s not surprising. You were right, it is my fault. It is my fault for being attached. It is my fault for thinking you could be a hero. It is my fault for being stupid.

Heroes don’t exist.

You’re not a hero, I’m certainly not a hero. I’m just a bad guy, a bad guy who hurts people for a living. That’s all I am, and that’s fine. At Ascendance, that what you’ll get: a bad guy who wants to hurt you.

Is that what you wanted to hear?

He stays turned away, refusing to even look at Brett Angel. He doesn’t see how his words breathe life into the cold eyes of Angel. He doesn’t see as Angel takes his scarf and drapes it over his neck before standing up. What he can hear, however is how even and dangerously cold Angel's voice is.

— BRETT ANGEL —
Yeah, it stings, doesn’t it? When someone takes a person you love, who you care about more than ANYTHING on this planet and uses that as a weapon against you--it’s a tough pill to swallow. The worst part is, it’s the assumptions that hurt the most. The wild speculations pulled out of thin air that tarnish their legacy and taint the memories you have of them. As the days go on, you wish more than anything you can turn it off like it’s some kind of switch so that it doesn’t hurt as badly anymore.

But that person was there for you at your lowest points.

They cared for you.

They sacrificed for you!

And the mere thought of someone throwing dirt on their name is soul crushing. Look at how one line about your mentor emotionally drained you. Think about how those words will echo in your head all night whether or not they're true. Understand that that will stick with you for the rest of your life.

And that was just one time.

Angel slowly approaches Hoxton in measured steps.

— BRETT ANGEL —
Imagine a barrage like that every other week for years, Hoxton. YEARS. Each time just as painful as the last. The wounds never had enough time to heal before a new one was sliced into my heart.

Yet I'm supposed to be the same after all that.

All the nonsense you rattled off like they were lifetime achievements, and I still bet Uncle Doug is taking some of your darkest secrets and most vulnerable moments to his grave. One day. But he's still kicking. He got a fourth chance at life. You can run to him after this and he'll tell you not to lose any sleep on his behalf.

I don't have that luxury. At the end of last season I wanted to be with her more than I wanted anything else. You don't know how close I was to pulling the plug. You don't know how close you were to having no Brett Angel to rant and rave at like a spoiled BRAT.

Angel stands a few feet away from Hoxton who still refuses to turn around.

— BRETT ANGEL —
Then I found the switch, Hoxton.

Angel laughs.

— BRETT ANGEL —
And those wounds have finally had time to heal. But you know the funny thing about scars? They're thicker than what was there before. It takes a hell of a lot more to feel what I used to, but it takes just as much to hurt me too. It's not the way I would have planned it, but now the pain is finally at a level I can manageme.

Your problem is that you want me to peel off those scars and be as weak as I was before. You want someone larger than life to look up to, someone to make you feel there's still good in the world in proportion to the sins you've committed over the years.

There are heroes everywhere you look--from the mother working two jobs to put food on her table to the firefighter rushing into that burning building one Thursday morning to save her kids.

What I want to hear is for you to say that you need someone to absolve you of your sins and free you of your guilt.

Not even the old Brett Angel could fill that role.

There's no man, no hero who can do that.