SOMEBODY CALL 9.1.1 (or 9.9.9)

by Topher Mod Tue Jul 25, 2017 3:42 pm

We are live on the streets of Pittsburgh….and a man wearing a ski mask and a shotgun in hand enters a bank….We hear the commotion from outside, several gun shots have been fired, a few minutes pass and the same man comes running out, with his hands full with money bags, he drops 1 and yells for fuck sake, turns back and picks it up, as he sets off again he bumps into none other than Police Squad… causing him to drop his shotgun.

Smith : Well, well, well…what do we have here.

Jones : Looks like somebody got caught red handed…. Nice gun, mine now.

Smith : Now you have 2 options…..#1, hand over the money

Jones : Or #2…. We beat the living crap out of ya and we still take the money.

Smith : Choice is yours….

The masked man is shitting bricks, but decides to hand over the money.

Jones : Good boy…. Now get lost.

The man slowly walks backwards, unsure if they actually mean it… Then sprints off down the road snatching some womans purse…

Woman : HEEEEEEEEEEEYYYY STOP HIM…. Police, POLICE….. Please stop him he stole my purse.

Jones : Call the police then, now beat it.

Smith : Now where were we…

Jones : Well 1st off lets put the money in our car….. ……. There much better, now lets get back to the arena.

And the scene fades…..

Later on in the show….

Dashing : Welcome back guys from commercial break and……

The Sirens hit the P.A System, Police Squad come marching out as the whole arena starts booing…. They make their way to ringside and Smith pulls out his yellow crime scene tape and starts cornering off the ring… Jones sees a guy with a Suraci/Cage sign, he goes over to him, grabs the sign and rips it up.

Fan : Hey what the hell man.

Jones : Sit ya arse down unless you wanna get nicked.

Fan : ASSHOLE… ASSHOLE…ASSAAAAARRGGHHHH

Jones grabs the fan and pulls him over the barricade and puts him in a choke hold, Smith comes running over and starts unloading rights to the mans head….. Jones then handcuffs the man….

Jones : NEVER PISS OFF POLICE SQUAD.

Smith & Jones enter the ring with mics in hand….

Smith : As you can see this is now a crime scene….. We should be #1 contenders for the CMV Tag Team Titles… We’ve already beaten Suraci/Cage….and earlier tonight you all saw as we gave "The Tag Champs“ Desolation some Police Brutality…. Tell `em Jones.

Jones : 10-4…. it’s fuckin’ criminal that we ain’t #1 contenders…. Hell we should just go back there, handcuff the Champs and take what’s rightfully ours…. But seriously did I just hear right, the team of Suraci and Cage are number 1 contenders, now that’s breaking the law.

Smith : … And ya know what happens to people who break OUR law, a good old fashion beat down… Suraci/Cage we have a warrant for your arrest.

Jones : But I do have some news for ya...... don’t worry about serving hard times…… Worry about being served food through a straw after the beating you’re gonna get if you get in our way.

Smith : We aint the Po-Lice….. We’re the Police Squad.