KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGLY RETURN

(The crowd is excited.  They just sat through a great match between Bloody Justice and Aleister Knox, with more to come.  The crowd got comfy in their seats, waiting for the first team to come out.  But when the time came...)



obviously, many in the arena thought, it was time for commercial break.  The people there either never saw this man, forgot this man, or wishes they had.  They groaned, as this freakish little man in a crown had wasted three minutes of their time with that drawn out entrance, and was about to waste yet more time.  King Matt pulled a mic from his cape, which apparently has pockets now, and began to speak with a fire in his eyes)

HELLO THERE PEASANTS!!!  IT HAS BEEN AWHILE SINCE I LAST ENTERED THIS ODDLY SHAPED CIRCLE, THOUGH IT WAS NOT THIS GREEN LAST TIME!!!  REGARDLESS OF ODD CHANGES IN FASHION, I HAVE RETURNED FROM A WELL NEEDED REST!!!  I KNOW YOU ALL HAVE MISSED ME VERY MUCH, SO I HAVE DECIDED TO COMMEMERATE THE MOMENT WITH A Q&A ON THE CMV SITE!!!  NOW YOU CAN LEARN ALL YOU EVER WANTED TO, AND MORE, ABOUT THE KING OF ALL RINGS!!!  CAN I GET A "WELCOME HOME, YOUR MAJESTY?!!"

(The crowd was silent, aside from a few "funny" guys who decided to play along, shouting the phrase in attempts at royal tones)

I THOUGHT YOU WOULD'VE SOUNDED LOUDER, BUT I SUPPOSE THE VOICE OF PEASANTS IS NOT AS POWERFUL AS THE VOICE OF A KING!!!  OH WELL, ON TO GREARER THINGS!!!  STARTING WITH THE GOAL I HAVE, TO RETRIEVE MY BELT!!!  YOU SEE, I WAS ROBBED OF IT BY NIKOLA IVANOVIC, WHEN HE USED HIS TRICKERY AND MY ALCOHOLISM AGAINST ME!!!  WELL, I PLAN TO FACE THAT MAN ONCE MORE, AND RECLAIM MY PRIZE, WHICH WAS SO HORRIBLY STOLEN!!!

(This confused the crowd greatly.  He never held the belt, he just got here, and Ivanovic is no longer the Light Heavyweight Champion)

SO THAT WAS THE FIRST PART, THE SECOND IS...  THE SECOND IS...  DAMNIT, I'VE FORGOTTEN!!!  I SWEAR, THIS BAD MEMORY OF MINE IF GOING TO RUIN ME!!!  WELL, I'VE MADE MY POINT, AND YOU KNOW I'M HERE!!!  IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT YOUR KING, AND I KNOW YOU DO, LOOK DEEPLY AT MY Q&A!!!  AND KNOW THAT THAT LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT BELT WILL BE MINE, NO MATTER WHAT ROCK I MUST PULL IT FROM!!!

(King Matt leaves the ring, heading for the back.  As he disappears, leaving his stage props behind, most people in the crowd have one thought: thank god it's over)