Ricky Spanish Presents: The Big Brown Breakdown

by Miztacular Fri Mar 24, 2017 6:36 pm

Midway through Intensity the titantron lights up and the sound of some good old fashioned Ricky Martin begins playing though the PA system, the camera fades into a colorfully lit room with a disco ball hanging from the ceiling. The crowd can't help but cheer without knowing what the hell is going on. However their curiosity is answered moments later as Ricky Spanish moonwalks into the scene, however, it's not Ricky Spanish as we know him, but instead he's rocking a getup somewhat similar to that of Elvis, the sideburns and all. He falls into a chair, spins it around and looks directly into the camera.

Ricky Spanish:
Anthony Brown huh, Hows that feeling buddy. To be left all in the dark and fed to the wolves. That two on one handicap couldn't have felt nice, but I bet it felt a lot worse than the three on one handicap the previous week. Because going into this match, you felt you had a chance, a partner. Well that's not how I roll. Forget everything you've ever known Brown, because you're dealing with me now, and I'm a whole new animal, and if you have ANY, AAAAAAAAAAAANY CHANCE of coming out on top at Takeover, you're gonna have to predict... The Unpredictable.

Spanish gets up from the chair, he turns around and rips off his sideburns, and pulls of his Elvis wig and turns back around towards the camera. Clapping his hands which turns the music off.

Ricky Spanish:
You see what that was Brown, that was character! What you have is not character. You're a nobody Brown... What I did last week.. I do regret it, leaving you in that handicap. I haven't been able to sleep for 7 hours... Not including naps. I want you to sit and listen to what I have to say tonight Brown, for this is "Ricky Spanish Presents: The Big Brown Breakdown" now lets go...

Ricky Spanish gets up and walks across the room to his newly added dimmer switches and fades the lights all the way down before lighting a candle and clapping his hands, starting up some more music as he falls back into his recliner and begins to talk.

Ricky Spanish:
What this session is Anthony, is me, going through all your faults, breaking them down, and showing the world what a fluke you are, I'm going to breakdown what will happen in our match this coming Sunday.. So lets go.

Spanish begins bobbing his head to the music as he talks.

Ricky Spanish:
Firstly Anthony, my biggest flaw with you.. IS THAT YOU'RE NOT ME!

Spanish immediately leaps to his feat, turning the lights back on which causes the music to stop in it's tracks.

Ricky Spanish:
That's the ONLY flaw that anyone needs for me to get annoyed. I'M RICKY SPANISH GOD DAMMIT. I DEMAND SATISFACTION! This Sunday Spanish, THIS is exactly how it will go down. I'll get off that airplane, I'll head to that stadium, I've signed my name on the dotted line, I'm ready to go, the time and place is confirmed, and I'll be there. Now when I get to that stadium Anthony, when I get there. The first thing I'll do is smack... Every... Single... Person. That I see wearing any of your merc, because it's fraudulent. If Trump is going to deport anyone it should be Anthony Brown fans, he should go around checking for marks on the faces of people, marks left there by the smack of my rings colliding with their faces. But Brown.. It's not over yet, you see, after I've done that, I'm gonna head down that ramp, get into that ring, they're gonna ring the bell and I'm just gonna take that belt right out of that referee's hands and leave with it. Because you're a child Anthony, you can't grow a good patch of hair on your face, SHAVE IT OFF I SAY. Because Brown, I don't hit Children. NOT on Sundays.

Now after I take your Television Championship, here's what I'm gonna do with it, I'm gonna head down to the nearest theme park, and I'm gonna get on the biggest roller coaster. Why's that? Because YOU'RE TOO DAMN SMALL. Soon enough, your little mind will get bored and while you're over there by the stand stuffing your face with cotton candy, I'm gonna head on over to your home town and become your new daddy!

See you Sunday brown.

The camera fades immediately leaving the crowd stunned, the camera fades to commercial.