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(After the ad)


The camera clicks on to Kevin Lee, the Hypothetical PhD Theoretical Degree Practitioner. THE person actively engaged in the art, the discipline, the profession... and especially medicine. The Doctor of Karate. He puts the Li in Lee. Mastering the MD n a that. 


And he's standing by a trash barrel. 


"Heh" his old school chuckle cackles. "You know why I practice my Kung Fu in random places? Cuz you never know when you're gonna need it. Churches, schools, even hospitals? What better way to flex on em? Heh, look what I can do, that you can't? Hiya. N shit. Backup.
But lookiehere. Thisriteere? This is a trash can. And I'm bout to light this whole bitch on fire. You know why? Cuz that's all it is, trash. That's what you do, you dispose of it. 
You see I'm not out in the wilderness, Mr. Miles. I'm in the streets, stalking my next victim in this concrete jungle. I am not the man you once maybe think you remembered, oh no. Heh. And you underestimated that before you stepped in that ring. Hehh. Got kicked right in the back of the ball for it too. Heh"


He lights a match and flicks it, immediately creating the desired effects without the undesired smells of burnt eyebrows. 


"My name is Leopard Lee. I have animorphisized my spirituality. You see, a few years ago I was on a journey within, to find myself. We all do it. But I found myself practicing Kung fu in that hospital that day... I remember it clearly cuz it was CMV 904 Fortune... and all of a sudden someone's yellin 


"WE NEED A DOCTOR!!"


"And of course I'm like 'I'm a Dr...' but before I can spit out 'of Karate' she grabs me and throws me in the surgery room. I'm like 'oh shit' and they're like 'yeah we know, right?' Right?"


Kevin Lee looks into the burning trash for answers. "Chick was so mangled she couldn't be recognized. Car crash. She won't goan make it but... she was pregnant. W/ Twins. Two babies survived and were born healthy no problem. Why? Cuz I was there and I delivered. I'm sure those two lil babies will turn out just fine. I just wonder where they'll end up." He looks at the camera. Heh. 


"But that sent me on a side quest spiritual journey and I saw a Leopard at a zoo I thought was really fuckin cool ya know. So I legally changed my name so I could be more peaceful, yet fearsome. More solid with spots. 



But how bout a big hand for Salvage, eh? Looks like you might have crossed the wrong guy, Mike. That dude gives zero fuchishimas. You underestimated him and that's what got you kicked in the back of the ball. Next time itll be the other one. 3rd times a charm if you got it like that.



Salvage, I can only say good luck but stop following me pls. I'm done helping rookies learn how to find a 3 count. You dont need my help finding 3 anyway....You found 10 of them in your debut. Heh. Shots fired, all around."


Leopard Lee looks at the fire one last time. "Homeless... Mike Miles... not camping. That's what we call it. You two little trash pandas have fun playing with your junks in that no dq match. This ring is sacred and the rules are important. But I like your style... can't break the rules if there aren't any"


The camera fades and before you can hit skip another 10 minute ad pops in.