Re: Outside of the Arena

by Childish Meltzer Thu Aug 27, 2015 7:38 pm

The Wrestling Hipster w/Shanaz Andoni Episode FIVE

The camera opens to reveal Shanaz and Chet Taylor at the zoo. Taylor reaches over and takes the camera and turns it to show the exhibit #TrendingWorldwide are at.

Shanaz:
For only the price of coffee cup each day, you can help poor Bison. Trapped behind bars. Covered in own filth. Smelly and sick and ugly and not enough food, many clear hearts can't lose go out to disgusting animal. But Shanaz and Chetster say that Bison is where he deserve. He only let out a few times a week to come into wrestle ring and then shut back up in penitentary with other bitten by flea furry friends. This is Bison home, and just because he stomp around ring and hit and hit and hit and hit and hit and hit and hit and hit and hit and hit and hit and pin win Shanaz, Shanaz not afraid. Chet No Fear Factor Taylor not afraid.

Shanaz turns and begins to shout at the animals

You hear that Mr. Big? This Shanaz and the city time, and Shanaz want you back in ring. Shanaz want to make you cry and wail and gnash teeth. #TrendingWorldwide is big name in teams of tag wrestling. We slice and dice and kill mice and that'sa nice. Now, let's go over to two-time special exhibit and hear from the best little hipster in Texas.

Chet:
Well the tables been set and all the stars have aligned Team Phony Bologna vs. WolfDuo (Two people don't make a Pack come on people read a book) vs. The team that gets right swiped on tinder, the team that gets retweeted, followed, trending on Twitter, the team that's bring MYSPACE BACK #TrendingWorldWide in an EPIC encounter Triple Tag Team Elimination Chamber @ Bad Blood. Now Phony Bologna we gotta give credit where credit is due you won the World Tag Team Championships although you won because of shenanigans being that I guess Mega Stars split but not really because that guy from the cover of Borderlands joined but enough about "Phony Bologna winning the Tag Team Titles oh my god." Bad Blood, Elimination Chamber, World Tag Team Championships, two work shopped phony teams, one amazeballs team with a catchy name now Shanaz I gotta consider that you and I are the heavy favorites..the OBVIOUS favorites because WolfDuo you're not the only predators here on RAW, Shanaz and I are like a couple of sharks with gorgeous mustaches in high tide and we smell blood and we smell GOLD. All Joking aside WolfDuo & Bologna come Bad Blood we're going to send you back to the Zoo (WolfDuo), My Nightmare (Marta), and whatever backyard wrestling promotion VooDoo came from..

by Maurie Thu Aug 27, 2015 7:41 pm

by DullChameleon Sat Aug 29, 2015 10:12 pm

The camera opens to the beautiful Kalandula Falls in Angola. Shanaz Andoni enters the frame, and begins to speak. It is difficult to hear him over the roar of the falls

Shanaz: This is place of peace for Shanaz. When Shanaz feeling oh bothered, he come to this no hanky panky sanctum and watch water fall. #TrendingWorldwide has milk and cookie tip top opp at next big top wrestling show. The Heartbroke Kid see something he like in Shanaz and Chet, and give a one time only single barrel shot at tagalicious titles. Shanaz has been primo and epico excited about fresh prince tag team with Chet Taylor, and Shanaz has been out there in the great big wide world saying this and saying that, but there is a jack and the beanstalk giant problem all my Andonites and nitesses, Shanaz has been looking like wet English morning limp dishrag in ring. Chet Taylor has been like Richard Pryor in ring, so dashing, so smashing, so exciting, so delighting, so courageous, so outrageous. Fans cheer and sip tea when #TrendingWorldwide appear on big long metal ramp, but Shanaz has not deserve tea sips. Shanaz keep getting knocked down and not up again, and it beginning to weigh on Shanaz. So Shanaz come down to waterfall and bring 80's montage band with Shanaz, and he stand out and peer into water, and band play great hits from great movies while Shanaz wrestle with his mind conscience. Shanaz almost throw it all away and jump into water fall, but then singing telegram fellow in banana with balloons appear with present for Shanaz.

Outside of the Arena - Page 7 Banana_balloons

Outside of the Arena - Page 7 Banana_balloons

Shanaz shocked because no one know where Shanaz is. Shanaz open package and what a gasp of surprise. It is gift from buddy cop Chet Taylor. Shanaz show:

Outside of the Arena - Page 7 FTC_FigBelt_TTChamps_DoubleBarrelThugz.1

Outside of the Arena - Page 7 FTC_FigBelt_TTChamps_DoubleBarrelThugz.1

Shanaz flabbergas because Shanaz didn't know Chet Taylor could create such lifey like figures of both. Shanaz see that Chet Taylor put belt on both real to life figurines and Shanaz get excited again. Shanaz begin to know #TrendingWorldwide win. Shanaz grab camera crew and tell band to be quiet and do live direct up to minute interview for all wrestle fans. And now Shanaz return to action and get ready to rumble and have a nice day because #TrendingWorldwide are the odds on baby favorites.

by Guest Tue Sep 01, 2015 9:51 pm

Kendall Wolfe is spotted sitting on a sidewalk of a street with a "Will wrestle for money" sign beside him. The rain is pounding down on Kendall as he just knows what is coming on sunday. Kendall looks to the sign with a precise fondness.

Wolfe:

You know, that sign wasn't created that too long ago.

Kendall grabs the sign and looks at it hard.

Wolfe:

Yep....the twenty fifth of december, 2010. Every day for 2 years, from 3PM till 10PM, I would go around the map and offer my expertise, but to no avail. People would tell me "You're too young", "You're too pushy", "We just don't like you."

Kendall throws the sign to the wet floor with no mercy on his once useful message.

Wolfe:

First there was MLW. I won their Intercontinental Title in my first match under the name 'Adrian Kline'. I got fired for threatning to run with the title to my next job. Speaking of, along came WEW. I won every title of theirs except the top title. We severed ties in 2014. I hopped ship to WWE Online, that came and went. AWF granted me a home earlier this year. They also granted my release due to "issues" with the owner, Jared.

Kendall knows too well the failures of his other leagues and so gets to the actual point.

CMV feels different to the others. I feel in my alpha stage, I feel powerful. I'm not a patient guy now because of all that waiting to get to this point, I'm ready to pounce on this shot and I won't let go!

Kendall stomps on his old sign with a swift force!

Wolfe:

Nobody on this barren wasteland will drag me down because I'm inside a dark place right now with all other 5 guys and I'm wearing black. I have the advantage of rejection which will tell a different story, because tonight at Bad Blood, the revolution starts!

Kendall grabs the sign and rips it in half, with the intensity of 5 years work coming to fruition! All the sleepness night, all the tears, all the rejection, everything is starting to fade away. Kendall is exuding velocity!

Wolfe:

Scott Norrie, you haven't experienced the year 2011 of wrestling. You haven't witnessed "Bigger. Badder. Better." You haven't been a part of "The Revolution". You weren't there for 2K14, and you sure as hell can't "Feel It"! After Bad Blood, you won't be feeling that title anymore, because quite frankly, that title looks a little better on me and I've earned this oppurtunity! I started earning this oppurtunity from Christmas Day, 2010. My time. No one elses.

Kendall composes himself as he looks dead into the camera.

Wolfe:

This is for Drew Mullen, for Chris Robinette, for Paulo Trickz, for Jared, for Derek Harding, for Doug.....this is for Dennis Urie. To every single league owner that I've worked for: I won't be denied. From December 25th 2010 to September 2nd 2015, my story ends here.....with me on top. Pls chill, everyone.

by **krzy** Wed Sep 02, 2015 2:43 am

*As a camera clicks on, Cole Savage is laughing outside of a building.*

Cole Savage
Oh man, everything is coming together so perfectly that I almost don’t even want the Hardcore Championship anymore! I started all this just wanting to have some fun in the ring and to kill some time until Cyborg became General Manager, and, in the process, I managed to unearth one hell of a conspiracy.

*Savage runs a hand over his mouth and laughs a little more.*

Cole Savage
I mean you saw it, right? You all did see that adorable little interview where Kayden finally learned how to string a few words together, right? Whoo! It was almost too good be true, but Kayden opened his mouth, and all that came out was the smoking bullet that proved I was right about everything!

*The overconfident expression on Savage’s face has yet to disappear.*

Cole Savage
It was so cute the way he pretended not to know my name. I was almost offended, but then I realized that this is Kayden Kynra for crying out loud! He’s an expert at being full of it, and I feel sorry for anyone who believed a single word that he said. Of course he knows who the hell this Ice-cold son of a bitch is that was guaranteed to take that title away from him. He pretended to be angry about Paul getting this shot at the belt, but we all know that Paul getting added to the title match is now the only reason Kayden has a chance of retaining, and thus the reason why Kayden threw that match when he was dominating right out of the gate.

*Savage whips off his glasses, his eyes are sharp and focused.*

Cole Savage
Kayden calling Paul the “better man” was really where everything just fell apart and the purpose of that interview became so laughably apparent. I mean, really, when has Paul ever been the “better man” at any facet of life in or out of that ring? He’s a joke, and I’ve already personally proven that. You all think it’s a coincidence that the notoriously silent Kayden suddenly pops up after I called him out and exposed that he and Shawn Michaels were in cahoots? That interview wasn’t Kayden clearing the air, it was damage control. Trust me, as a businessman I know all about that.

*He shakes his head and takes a deep sigh. When he looks up, he’s smiling again.*

Cole Savage
Ah, how sweet it truly is to be “Ice” Cole Savage. Even with the odds stacked against me as they are, I know that it’ll be me walking out of match with the championship draped across my shoulder. See, desperate men do stupid things, and I get that Kayden was afraid of me shoving my boot through his heart, but by purposely letting Paul beat him, he let a man into that match who’s, shall we say, not his biggest fan. So what I’ll think I’ll do is let them take each other out, and then take my shot.

*Savage raises a finger, pausing in thought.*

Cole Savage
It may seem foolish to lay my cards on the table like that, but who’s to say that either of my opponents are savvy enough to counter my plan? And who’s to say I don’t have other cards up my sleeve?

*He smirks and winks at the camera then walks out of the frame.*

by DullChameleon Fri Sep 04, 2015 12:16 pm

The camera opens to reveal Shanaz Andoni and Chet Taylor, the tag team titles around their waist, at a nail salon getting a mani/pedi from some beautiful ladies. There are also two women preening and pampering the team's mustaches. When Shanaz sees the camera, he shoos his mustache makeover artist away and addresses the CMV universe.

Yabba dabba do and hidey ho framily and fiends. #TrendingWorldwide is your newest hop to it and hop on pop tag team champions and both Chet Sailor and Shanaz are punch proud to have nice golden belt to hold up trousers. Shanaz get many phone calls all night long and wanting why Shanaz eliminate and fight partner Chet Taylor? Is Osh Kosh B'Gosh #TrendingWorldwide splitting apart? Is Shanaz angry dragon about losing many matches? Did Chet Taylor mutter racial epitaph under breath in middle of match? No no no no no no no no no o no o no o no o no o no. Master chief plan time reveal. Shanaz and Chet decide to fight each other and distract opponents during match. If we fight each other, other boys wouldn't punch or kick. Conserve strength. And then, strike like lightening cobra and win the special prize.

Outside of the Arena - Page 7 CHICAGO_ALL_STAR_WRESTLING_TAG-TEAM_TITLES_08_010-431x291

Outside of the Arena - Page 7 CHICAGO_ALL_STAR_WRESTLING_TAG-TEAM_TITLES_08_010-431x291

But #TrendingWorld is not finished with our din dins. We have small relax time and have lovely ladies massage hands and feet and mustaches, but soon we go back to grind grind grind and face off against lots of poor boy tag teams who want to own our billy baubles. We don't care if you the Bison and the Bozo, the Snowman and the Snail, the Big Show and the Pain in the ass, Marty and the Voodoo, or Tickle Me Elmo and Big Bird, #TrendingWorldwide is team that makes fans go wooooo and yes yes yes and hubbly jubbly and everything else. Warning time to teams who want belts. You can't have them or else. Now, Shanaz and Chet need beauty rest in comfy chairs. Goodnight.

by **krzy** Fri Sep 11, 2015 3:52 am

*Cole Savage is spotted in a fancy looking bathroom, perhaps residing at a five-star hotel that only a prominent businessman such as he could afford to stay between shows. Savage is looking into a mirror, gently placing his finger onto the latest batch of stiches to grace his forehead.*

Cole Savage
Man, there ain’t a harder working champion in this business right now than Cole Savage. Each and every week I go out there and bleed for this Hardcore Championship. What is it, about a thousand stiches and counting at this point? Not that I’m bragging about it or anything. All I’m trying to say is that it should come as no surprise that these kids are starting to feel threatened because I’m going out there and putting them to shame. They thought they knew it all until I showed up with a whole new bag of tricks.

We saw it when Ryan Kent “beat” me in the cheapest way imaginable, and then we saw it when Sunshine stood there and watched me get pinned. There I was playing it smart, conserving my energy so that I could get back to kicking ass and trying to single-handily climb out of the hole Sunshine dug, and that’s the thanks I get? No, you’ve gotta be kidding me with that nonsense. Go back and watch the footage, who was getting hit with the finishers? Sunshine! And who was hitting the finishers? None other than yours truly.

But it’ll all be gravy soon, because, when Raw rolls around, I’m gonna go ahead and kill three birds with one stone. Troy, you’ve done nothing to piss me off, but let’s be honest, it’ll only be a matter of time before you do. So how about we just go ahead and call this a pre-emptive ass whooping? Don’t be surprised when none of you are able to make it to Survivor Series. Levi, you never stood a chance, but at least after you’re left with dozens of injuries you’ll have some semblance of an excuse for your pathetic showing other than the obvious: “I’m just not better than Cole Savage.”

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some business to attend to.

*Savage pushes the cameraman out of the bathroom and shuts the door.*

by **krzy** Sun Sep 13, 2015 7:41 am

*The camera cuts on just as it seems Cole Savage is wrapping up a business meeting. He shakes the hands of some men and women in suits before they all head their parting ways. Savage seems to be in a surprisingly good mood considering what happened at Survivor Series, and when he’s alone in the room he turns to the camera with a smirk on his face.*

Cole Savage
Now I know, I know Cole Savage without the Hardcore Championship just doesn’t feel right. It’s like Michael Jordan without the Bulls Uniform on or Michael Jackson without the glove on. You just get used to something for so long that the other variations just don’t feel right anymore. Look, I’ll be the first to admit that something went terribly, terribly wrong at Survivor Series and no one is more disappointed than I am. I mean, Levi Marta defeating Cole Savage is like some pathetic mom and pop shop outselling Wal-Mart. But look, I’ve been in the business world long enough to know that sometimes things don’t always go according to plan. Sometimes there are just anomalies and the difference between a great business like Cole Savage and lesser beings like Levi Marta is that I have a plan B.

*Savage smiles and runs his hands along his goatee.*

Cole Savage
When I beat Marta, his only option was to come after me again. He’s not the fella to think ahead, to play it smart. No, he’s the kind of guy who joins a cult and lets another man do the thinking for him. And that other man just so happens to be holding something that I want. I realized what went wrong for me. There I was defending something like the Hardcore title, when just days before I pinned a man holding an even shinier belt. So I’m fine with letting Marta have fun with my scraps while I chase something even better. Sure, Marta has held the United States championship before, but if you hold a belt and nobody cares about you, does your reign truly matter?

*Savage takes some papers off his desk and places them in a manila folder before getting up and walking away.*

by DullChameleon Tue Sep 15, 2015 11:00 pm

The camera opens to reveal Shanaz Andoni and Chet Taylor sitting in a sauna, both in loose-fitting, comfortable clothes and both in the lotus position.

Outside of the Arena - Page 7 Two-elderly-men-meditating-in-the-lotus-position

Outside of the Arena - Page 7 Two-elderly-men-meditating-in-the-lotus-position

Shanaz: Are we sneaky snacky squirrels? Are we clever little currant buns? Are we tip toe ship shape hip hop ali babas and thirty thieves? Yes. Oh yes. Oh yessy yes. #TrendingWorldwide trending worldwide after happy valley first title of defense at the series of survivors. Tweety birds shock at spiderman reflex of my friend Chet. How he so quick? Zak Morris take eyes off for smallest second and sim sala bim bam, fruit rollup for 123. Chet and Shanaz have secret recipe for james bond win. First, hide special gift of honor 20 chickens in Showtime room. Yum yum yummy says massive manchild. Num num, and at ring, he smell like gook gobbler and oh so slow cant even tag. Second, #TrendingWorldwide spend so many hours learn master roll combo from silent monks in misty mountains. Chet Taylor dangerous than grrrrrizzle bear in small closet. Shanaz dangerous than heavy machine falling off cliff. Next week, Shanaz face Mr. Smiles Ryan Cant. Shanaz win and then put mask on wall next to beef bison head. Trophy room oh so full like chicken belly of Big Bore. Now, Chet Baby Boy Taylor and Shanaz Tremble Tom Andoni concentrate breathing hot yoga air steam.

by **krzy** Sat Sep 19, 2015 4:36 pm

*Cole Savage can be seen directing traffic. The camera is doing close-up of him, so it’s hard to tell where he is or who he’s talking to.*

-Cole Savage-
A little to the left… a little to the right… no, no, back to the left a little, now take it up just a bit… a little more…more…moooooooooore…perfect!

*Savage claps his hands together and smiles as the camera swivels around to see what he’s looking at. A huge banner reads "Congrats, Ice! 3 2 titles, 1 night." The camera now zooms out to see Savage standing in a large reception hall, surrounded by workers assembling tables, chairs hanging up streamers and balloons and making sure that’s not a speck of dust in the place. Savage turns to the camera and smirks.*

-Cole Savage-
I guess it’s true what the old song says, “Don’t be sad, ‘cause two out of three ain’t bad! Well my eyes are dry and my mind is sharp and focused because tonight I’m celebrating taking all the gold home tonight, baby! I’m gonna kick Shanaz so hard that he not only starts speaking perfect enlgish, but he masters two other languages as well. When Chet gets in my way, an ICK will send that dirty mustache of his flying back to the ’60s, and I cannot wait to make this the best and worst night of Levi’s life. Never before has he been in the presence of someone who dresses, speaks and looks so good, and I almost feel a little bad that I’m going to leave him a broken pile of blood and bones in the middle of the ring. I got ice in my veins, and this isn’t just wrestling, it’s a business, and I need to be aligned with someone who has a lick of sense, who has a backbone. Not someone who loses their belt then runs away without even trying to win them back. When Levi can no longer compete for God knows how long after tonight, I’ll gladly hand-pick my new partner. Trust that it'll be a man who’s worthy to share those tag titles with me. Now, if you don’t mind, I have some final preparations to make.

*Savage turns around as a worker comes by with a paper, and the two men begin to converse as the screen fades to black.*

by DullChameleon Tue Sep 22, 2015 9:45 pm

The camera to reveal a local blood bank.

Outside of the Arena - Page 7 Latest?cb=20130423033306

The camera moves inside the building, through a hallway and into a small room, where we see Chet Taylor and Shanaz Andoni hooked up to IV's attended by two beautiful nurses.

Outside of the Arena - Page 7 Dep_6887035-Two-Beautiful-women-in-carnival-costume.-Nurse-shape

Outside of the Arena - Page 7 Dep_6887035-Two-Beautiful-women-in-carnival-costume.-Nurse-shape

Shanaz sees the camera and begins to speak

Oh what a lovely day. A lovely jubilee hip hip hooray day. A day to end days. A day for play and the kid say hey and the secret garden and the governor pardon. #TrendingWorldwide keep rolling river and beat dropping. Chet Taylor like wild parrot with super sharp beak pecking opponents oncetwicethrice. Shanaz Andoni like submerge manatee blib blobbing around eating cabbage and eating team tag challenges. Time after time says major pop star Syndey Looper, and #TrendingWorldwide agree. Maybe we need big challenge? Maybe special royal rumble tag team match to give anyone else chance at our beauty belts? No no no no. So many tweets and twitters and snapchats say #TrendingWorldwide best tag team of United Arab Emirates and Saskatchewan. Next time, after we beat Michael Jordan and the masked mechanic, now two scary beary big boys want to rumble. But they stumble. And fumble. And jumble. And humble. And tumble. #TrendingWorldwide think team tag Attention need wake up and smell green tea. We keep belts. Forever. Here at bank of blood, Chet Taylor Swift have idea to donate blood to all sick children so they can be #TrendingHealthy and be like us. Give back to community is motto of lives. Now, Shanaz feeling faint from take blood time. Shanaz need cookie and juice. Goodbye little giants and lost boys.

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