A Star Isn't Born

by DullChameleon Wed May 22, 2019 7:25 pm

Shanaz enters from the left surrounded by paparazzi. The lines between Shanaz and the Paparazzi are said in almost call-and-response fashion.

Paparazzi: Here comes Shanaz! It’s actually him! Get your cameras ready kids. Wait, it’s Shanaz but he isn’t smiling. Where has that spring in his step gone? He looks beaten. He looks guilty.

Shanaz: Tree of woe woe for my so dark no night light soul. Shanaz ignore wise men and wise lady and wise kiddy winkies who say “Shanaz, be careful, time come when you lose thing you love and then you be so sad and grumpy cat” and Shanaz laugh like Dwoon Jenson confident laugh and sing out “Oh silly billy goats and billy clubs, Shanaz never lose thing he love because Shanaz love everything and everyone. Forever and ever and after and ever and after and ever and after, Shanaz be happy Sonic race friend and always tell funny runny joke to best pals and smile perfect teeth white at special lady friends who like toothpaste.” But now Shanaz now wise friends always right as rain and right as left.

Paparazzi: Don’t ask us to feel bad for you mate, you made all this trouble for yourself, we’re here just to take pictures of it and get some cash.

Shanaz: Shanaz wake up early bright today at almost noony. Alarm friend go dingle dingle to Shanaz fav song “1800 Kidz Karz”. But Shanaz no longer jump out of bed boots on walk down street sing song of happy joy. Now Shanaz want stay in bed and cuddle water hot bottle and hum music from favorite church times. Now Shanaz feel ohsosorryhorryforShanaz and just want glass and hello gin and then snoozers more. Shanaz abandon wrestle time for long long long galaxy close by and now want return but Shanaz feel like baloney phoney pepperoni.

Paparazzi: Listen, I don’t know why you’re telling us all this, we’re not your goddamn therapist for Chrissakes. Now, just give us one of those famous Shanaz poses and we’ll get out of your hair.

Shanaz: Shanaz gloomy like Sunday morning. Shanaz forget poses. Shanaz forget roses. Shanaz forget even his little toesies. Shanaz wish washer/dryer time machine exist and Shanaz put on tumble dry and return to glam glam dazzle time. But Shanaz lost everything. Shanaz lost businesses. Shanaz lost busy messes. Shanaz lost buzzy mooses. Shanaz sign letter come Postman Pat other day and Shanaz thought order me a pizza letter, but Shanaz tricksied by naughty bossy boss who want Shanaz back run run run the ropes. Shanaz have to now.

Paparazzi: Fuck this, he’s not gonna do it boys. Let’s get out of here and see if we can find that squirrel that does sums. Dese nuts!

The paparazzi leave and Shanaz is left standing alone. A chicken walks by, unleashed.

Shanaz: Bad bad chicken. Bad bad Shanaz. Shanaz fool on the hill. Shanaz rash. No one love Shanaz any more. Shanaz not know looky where or what see. Shanaz need support. Shanaz come back to grib and grab and grap men in tights, but Shanaz not same. Shanaz feel like elephant on elephant friend birthday and elephant friend get brand new iphone for present and Shanaz elephant want new iphone but only get nice white sneakers for birthday last year and Shanaz elephant feel big bowl of jelly about elephant friend and Shanaz elephant just puddle drink and fall asleep.

by **krzy** Wed May 22, 2019 7:35 pm

i'm glad i lived long enough to experience this

A Star Isn't Born

A Star Isn't Born

Re: A Star Isn't Born