Independent Wrestling Network Presents: Local Talent Coming to CMV?

by Jason Spade Tue Sep 14, 2021 7:24 pm

The cheaply-produced, endearingly tacky jingle plays, displaying the IWN logo before fading out to reveal longtime corespondent, Troy Garter.

"Good afternoon folks! Thank you for joining us on this fine Tuesday. Before we begin I'd like to thank our sponsor, MeUndies. Today, we're interviewing local independent talent and so-called "Deathmatch Princess", everyone please welcome Ashley Riot."

The camera pans over to a young woman, smiling hugely.

"Thanks so much for having me! Oh my God, I'm so excited to be here! I've never done an interview like this before."

"Well Ashley, for those who don't know, why don't you introduce yourself."

"Okay! Uh, jeez, okay, I'm uh... Ashley Riot! I was born in Brooklyn but I've lived most of my life in upstate New York around places like Albany and whatnot, and that's where I learned to wrestle!"

"And who trained you to wrestle?"

"Oh, a fella by the name of "Dirty Dick" Manson. He was great, really gave me a good concept of the basics and--"

"Wait, notorious deathmatch wrestler and ex-convict Dick Manson?"

"That's the one! He was super tough on everyone, especially me 'cuase I was the only girl there, but it really paid off! On our first day he had everyone line up and he hit us with light tubes until we tapped out, and he hit me with like, seven of them. I didn't give up though! He only stopped because he ran out of light tubes."

Ashley smiles happily, as if recalling a fond memory. Troy is momentarily lost for words.

"That sounds... Awfully harsh, Ashley. How long did you train with Manson?"

"About a year! I had my first match maybe six months into the training, but I was still really rough around the edges, so I worked with Dick a lot until he died in that match with Bobby Landon."

"Yes, of course, that flaming barbed wire deathmatch in Rochester where Manson unfortunately died from his burns. Who took over your training after that?"

"Well, nobody specifically! Dick had introduced us to a lot of people and I had a good opportunity to get around and meet new people, and learn a lot from wrestling with them! I spent a lot of time in Los Angeles too, learning martial arts to kind of round out the deathmatch stuff. Not because I don't like it, don't get me wrong! I love deathmatch stuff, but your employment opportunities are pretty limited when you're only good at choking people out with barbed wire."

Ashley giggles innocently. Troy is again lost for words.

"Well, uh, Ashley... What can you tell us about the recent rumors that you've been in talks with CMV about potentially signing?"

Ashley lights up.

"Oh, lots! Well, not lots lots, since we don't have a deal ready yet, but I met Shay Hoxton at a rally in Saratoga, and I knew he was a wrestler before he was a politician, so I tired to get his attention any way I could, but his entourage was really giving me the strong arm. So when he could see in my direction, I kicked one of his bodyguards in the face and knocked out some of his teeth! Shay wasn't very happy, but when I told him it's because I wanted to get into CMV, he laughed and said he respected my... Well, he said a naughty word."

Ashley giggles again.

"Anyways, he tried to get me to train with his trainer, Doug I think? But he smelled funny so I said that I didn't need any training, so he had me wrestle one of his lady bodyguards! She was pretty good, really technical with like submissions, y'know? But once I got out of her grip I kicked her in the head and she must've been real tired, 'cause she fell asleep and Shay's referee called off the match. After that he said he'd get me in touch with someone at management, and we've exchanged emails, but I haven't properly met with anyone yet."

"So... You seem to have a very aggressive style. Aren't you worried about hurting people?"

"Nah! We all signed contracts so I can't get sued! That's what Dick used to say. He also used to say, "if your opponent is still moving, hit them harder", so I always give it 110% when that bell rings!"

"And what made you want to wrestle in CMV?"

"Everyone there seems so cool! Like the boys are all awesome, I love guys like Pierre Thompson and Ace Reeves, but they also have a really good women's division! I don't see that a lot in big companies so I'm really excited for the chance to fight girls like Janet Torre and especially Amber Reed! It's the place to be and I'm suuuuper excited for the chance."

"Well Ashley, that's all the time we have for you today! Thanks for joining us and we wish you luck! Stay tuned folks for our next segment where we take an in-depth look at former wrestler Vance Vintage's unfounded conspiracy theories about Vice President Shay Hoxton!"