WHO GIVES A DAMN ABOUT TAILCOAT VAL??

by **krzy** Tue Oct 19, 2021 10:29 pm

It's a new season in CMV, baby! Fuck an off-season, coming in hot off a fantastic Ascendance IX event, CMV is already back to the weekly grind spearheaded by a draft that gave the Supremacy and Crossfire rosters a huge shakeup. Mix those events with some surprise returns and tragic departures and you've got yourself a bit of a controversy stew. And you know what controversy means, right? Yes! The CMV forums are absolutely buzzing. Yes indeederino the fans are feasting because there's no shortage of hot topics to share some hot takes on. As a matter of fact, here's a look at the top five most active threads:

IN WHAT WAY IS CHRIS DIAMOND FIRST-ROUND WORTHY?
DOES ANYONE ELSE MISS PRESIDENT HOXTON ALREADY? [THREAD LOCKED]
JASON SPADE HAS NO FRIENDS HAHAHAHA
THREE REASONS WHY CROSSFIRE EASILY WON THE DRAFT
HERE'S WHY MIKE HAWK SHOULD JOIN THE WOMEN'S DIVISION [THREAD LOCKED]

Among those is a thread that's flown a bit under the radar, though it has a respectable amount of activity within it:

WHO GIVES A DAMN ABOUT TAILCOAT VAL??

Her return has definitely drawn a bit of a mixed reaction, notwithstanding those who didn't realize she was gone to begin with. Let's dive in and see what all this kerfuffle, as the kids say, is about, shall we?

Username: soggytoast
Posted: 4 days ago
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So here we go again, for what, the fifth year now? Of Val sucking the life out of every show she's on. Seriously, she's a black hole of entertainment doing the same schtick that wasn't even THAT entertaining when she started...definitely not enough to warrant running it back THIS many times for THIS long.

Seriously, was anyone genuinely excited when you saw her show up on the screen? Trick question, cause if you were then you lack taste and your opinion isn't worth reading, in my opinion.

I'm hoping that the light at the end of the tunnel is that she sticks around for an even shorter amount of time, and I can promise you that I wouldn't miss her.

Username: ToeBandit
Posted: 4 days ago
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Has she been doing the same thing, tho? Her interactions with Rayne are DRASTICALLY different to how she and Angel meshed together, for instance.

I can get not liking her, but to say she's been doing the same thing for years is a bit disingenuous tbh

Username: soggytoast
Posted: 4 days ago
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Come on, man, you know how this is going to go. Val is gonna show up, drone on with her $5 vocab words (like disingenuous), torpedo someone's career, disappear for two months to get her mask refitted...rinse and repeat. I GUESS the biggest switch up is that she named her victims ahead of time...victims in the sense that one of those eight she names will probably become irrelevant by the time Ascendance X rolls around.

Username: jetblackflipflops
Posted: 4 days ago
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So you're mad because *checks notes* you don't understand what she's saying? Sounds like something you gotta work on during your own time OP

Username: soggytoast
Posted: 4 days ago
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Typical. I say something the hive mind doesn't like, and the first instinct is to insult me. PLEASE tell me one interesting thing she did that wasn't getting rocked by Spade.

Username: santaflouse
Posted: 4 days ago
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Don't worry bro I'm right there with you. It was fun at first, (I, for one, got a kick out of zombie Rayne) but it's getting stale at this point. You know what would inject some life into things? If Val came back as the leader of a motorcycle gang and when she felt like pissing people off, she just led her crew around the ring revving their engines until they gave up trying to wrestle and left. I don't know what that would accomplish or what the staying power of that gimmick is, but you can't tell me that's not both unique AND hilarious!

Username: morningsunset
Posted: 3 days ago
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Maybe I'm boring, then, for being fascinated by the way Val goes about things. Look at the way she broke down Patch Mondo until he lost confidence and lost hold of the money in the bank briefcase or how she's been stringing Chris Diamond for months in preparation for God knows what. She mentally broke Rami Young without her or her subjects laying a finger on her--its borderline like watching a magician at work. I don't understand what she does or how she does it, but I can't stop watching. Plus I think it's a lot more subtle than, say, how the Kliq goes about their business.

Username: JuiceBox_Assassin
Posted: 3 days ago
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Yeah, if we're talking about the second verse being the same as the first, how many times are we gonna watch Kliq take over shows because they feel like it...and while we're at it when are we gonna take bets on whether it's Bob Luger or Xander Slate who turns on the other when their egos can't let them co-exist anymore?

Username: soggytoast
Posted: 3 days ago
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I'm glad you brought up the Kliq since they're WAY more entertaining week in and week out with what they do. There's absolutely no way you can't tell me that you and the boys didn't spend hours talking about them snapping Hayden's arm or trying to figure out who they're gonna try and recruit next.

Kliq is the best at teasing the past while keeping things fresh moving to the future. And if you're trying to tell me that you aren't at least curious to see what they're going to do next, then you're lying to yourselves.

Username: bevbevbeverly
Posted: 3 days ago
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Sure I wanna see if Kliq just goes around breaking people's limbs for no reason every week, but I'm just as curious to see why Val named those eight people that she did. There's no way she wants to recruit them all, or if she does, HOW is she going to pick?

Username: glass-fries
Posted: 2 days ago
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Can you fucking imagine if Val drugs them all and next thing you know they're all in the hunger games and the PRIZE is getting your soul sucked out of you and turned into a test subject??

Username: username8675309
Posted: 2 days ago
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So which of the 8 wins if it comes down to life of death winner takes all battle royale? It's gotta be Joy Justice, right? She just calls upon the spider deities or some shit and breezes to the finish line.

Username: beamificient
Posted: 2 days ago
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The galaxy brain play is betting it all on Santos. The wimp who looks like he wouldn't last a second when left to his own devices, and all of a sudden we learn his dad was a conspiracy nut who built a fallout shelter and taught Santos the intricacies of surviving in a cold, brutal and desolate world with nothing to his name but the clothes on his back and the seven rocks in his pocket that have become currency in the new world once the dollar, peso and bitcoin have fallen.

Santos learned how to scavenge, how to hunt and how to sleep with one eye open because when you're trapped in a world where it's every man for themselves, it's your fellow man who you quickly learn can't be trusted.

It comes down to the final two. Joseph Santos and Hunter Quinn. As Suraci looks down from the heavens smiling down on him, Santos snaps Quinn’s neck with a tug of the mohawk and becomes the last man standing in Val's sick, twisted game.

Username: striped_sweater_solid
Posted: 2 days ago
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Y..you good?

Username: MissSeryealism
Posted: 2 days ago
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...anyways, I'm dying to see how a confrontation between Val and Lipnick plays out. They're so unsettling in their own way...imagine if they were to join forces? Best power couple since Dashing and Reeves don’t @...

Username: BoyMeetsHarshReality
Posted: 2 days ago
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I'd sooner grow a penis women don't laugh at than there being a chance those two work together. Lipnick and Val are ripe for the kinda battle where they’re controlling the chessboard throwing pawns they don't care about at each other to see who built up the best army.

Username: 47_yogurt
Posted: 2 days ago
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Hey! Those aren't pawns to Lipnick, those are his FRIENDS. He's not some heartless shrew who can’t be...trusted.

Username: throwaway_2639
Posted: 1 day ago
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As a BIG fan of the Warriors, I kind of want to see Val build up her group and then next thing you know we got some faction warfare spilling out all over CMV. Lipnick's Guys (I've christened them as such), Val's Arsenal, Kliq, whoever LFF can pull out of the ether...the other groups in CMV I can't remember off the top of my head. Shit, sign me up and I'll throw hands too!

Username: KliqFan27
Posted: 1 day ago
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Considering Kliq has the GM of Crossfire in their back pocket, I'd say they're already looking at the other groups through their rearview mirror.

Username: Charlie-Hearse
Posted: 14 hours ago
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An unbiased take, no doubt.

Username: French_Fry
Posted: 5 hours ago
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Borton being the new GM of Crossfire is crazy in so many ways I feel like my head is about to fucking explode. Think about it, Ken Donahue is why Val had been BANNED from wrestling in CMV!! Also, there’s a reason why she hadn’t been as openly blatant with her maneuvering as she was with Rayne--sure, part of it is because she learned from her “research,” but Donahue played a HUGE role in forcing her to operate with one arm tied behind her back (the Alliance didn’t help either)... What happens now that he's gone?