Episidio Seis

by Jason Spade Wed Apr 06, 2022 9:45 pm

The camera comes in to our beloved Battle Cattle doing some light training in their apartment. Spanish drama television is playing in the background.

Mi amor... ¡Soy tu hermana!

A dramatic sting plays and Danger Cow gasps.

What?! Rosita, how could you hide such a thing?!

Danger Cow continues to work on his legs in dead silence.

Man… It has been really quiet since Angus transformed into that gauntlet. I miss his witty retorts.

We cut to Golden Cow breathing heavily as he’s doing dumbbell curls. The gauntlet sits on the table behind him, humming ominously. It shines a beautiful gold, purple, blue, and red lights sparkle as the power of Infinity gives it strength.

Dorado, are you doing those exercises Mystery Man told you to do?

Golden Cow drops the dumbbell, letting out a deep breath as he does.

No. Mystery Mask was meant to meet me Monday, but he missed our meeting.

Oh… I guess he must’ve been sad. Remember how he wanted to use the Internet Championship to learn the questions behind 42?

Golden Cow shakes his head.

No.

Danger Cow shrugs.

Yeah, it was a pretty stupid idea, but Samuel the Manuel Valentineal threw out the belt a few days ago, so that plan is done.

Golden Cow tilts his head.

Oooooh yeah, I think I remember… something like that, I guess. It would really suck if I need to delay training because Mystery Mask is sad. Perhaps we should drop by and cheer him up.

Danger Cow jumps as high as he can, getting seven feet into the air after all his superkick training!

I’ll prepare the fruit basket!

---

Time passes, and the camera focuses in on the abode of Mystery Mask III. The fabled Compound of Mystery is much less impressive in person, as it appears to be a run down cabin in the middle of the woods. The Battle Cattle approach the compound, Golden Cow carrying a bag over his shoulder, and Danger Cow carrying the aforementioned fruit basket… With several pieces noticeably missing.

Peligroso, the fruit basket is not as good of a gift if you snack from it on the way here.

Danger Cow gasps.

How dare you insinuate such a thing! I just… Misplaced those bananas.

Golden Cow sighs. He walks up to the Door of Mystery and raises his fist to knock, but the door flies open before he even touches it. They are greeted by a noticeably disheveled-looking Mystery Mask III.

Oh, it is the Cows of Battle… Yes, I have been expecting you. Please come inside.

The Battle Cattle enters the compound, finding a surprisingly comfortable living room that was so comfortable they almost didn’t notice the rambling chalk writing covering every single wall with the number “42”.

Golden Cow pretends not to notice.

So, Mystery Mask, your home is… Lovely.

Thank you, Gold Cow. You are here to begin your training, I presume.

Golden Cow nods.

Yes. I- we have been training our bodies, like you said, but I still cannot touch the gauntlet without losing feeling in my arms.

Mystery Mask III nods.

Yes, as expected… A strong body is only half of the equation. One must also be strong of mind and spirit.

Mystery Mask III reaches down and produces a stack of textbooks on various college-level mathematics.

Study these to enhance your mind.

Golden Cow appears to be flummoxed.

I… Yeah, okay, sure.

Golden Cow takes the textbooks, noticeably struggling with their weight. Danger Cow speaks up.

Oh, Mystery Man! We thought you might have been upset by the utter crushing of your ambitions, so we brought you this fruit basket!

Danger Cow produces the fruit basket, with several more pieces missing.

Peligroso!

Danger Cow opens his mouth to protest, but Mystery Mask III raises a hand.

Wait… Do you hear that?

All three men pause to listen. They hear nothing, save for the gentle rustle of trees.

Yes, nature is beautiful, isn’t it? I wonder if there are any wild mice we can cha--

Before Danger Cow can finish his nonsensical rambling, the windows around them shatter dramatically! Several dark figures, men and women, all dressed in cat-themed lucha masks, storm the room! Taken off guard, the Battle Cattle are unable to respond before they are swarmed! Several of the assailants force Golden Cow to the ground and rip open his bag, revealing the shiny gold of the Infinity Cats!

No! You can’t! We need it!

The assailant ignores Golden Cow’s pleas and reaches for the gauntlet, only to have her hands grabbed by the Mystery Tongue! With a great heave, Mystery Mask III throws the assailant from the room, and two others leap off of Danger Cow to assault the Mysterious one! Danger Cow, now only struggling against one attacker, is able to break free with a powerful superkick! Golden Cow buries his kitty claw into the face of another attacker, freeing himself as well! More assailants arrive, but they too are restrained by Mystery Mask III.

Flee! I will hold them off!

Golden Cow protests.

But you cannot survive!

Mystery Mask III does not hesitate.

I do what I must… Remember, Dorado… Strength of spirit!

Freed from the entanglement of the attackers, the Battle Cattle manage to leave the compound, bolting for the treeline! Just before they disappear behind the foliage, they turn back; several of the assailants have dragged a beaten Mystery Mask III out of the compound, and are holding him up on his knees, with his arms held out as if to crucify him. Two more assailants grip the edges of his mask and begin to pull!

No!

Golden Cow attempts to go back, but Danger Cow stops him.

Dorado, it is too late! We cannot help him now, or else we too will be destroyed!

Golden Cow watches in horror as Mystery Mask III struggles with all of his might, but in vain… The two turn and run, refusing to look at their friend in such a state.

We return to his cabin where a Cat Assailant is gripping the bottom of the Mystery Mask.

This is your final chance! You know what we can do with the power of Infinity! We cats can revolutionize this world, while those cows can’t even use them! Don’t you wish to see what this power can do firsthand?

Mystery Mask takes a moment to breathe, and stops struggling. He responds with complete calm.

There are some answers even I don’t need to know.

The cats grit their teeth and sink their claws right into the face of Mystery Mask III! They tear his mask to shreds, slowly revealing his true identity!

Under the mask, he is the knower of all information. The asker of all questions. He is the International Man of Mystery. However, with one final slash, his mask falls to the ground, and he is nothing more than a man in a silly costume. With tears in his eyes, the Kitty Illuminati throw Myst- throw this man to the floor.

He won’t be a threat anymore. After them!

The cats run outside, but with all the trees and foliage, the cats have no chance to track our heroes down.

You, old man! Where did they go?!

The man who once lived as Mystery Mask III simply lays against the wooden floor, shaking his head.

I don’t know.

---

Deep in the forest, our heroes stop to catch their breath. After a moment, Danger Cow looked behind them.

I think we have lost them, Dorado… What… What will we do now?

Golden Cow takes several more deep breaths, before standing up straight. He slings the bag down from over his shoulder, and slowly unzips it, revealing the Infinity Cats shining in all of their glory.

We… Will stop holding back.

Golden Cow reaches into the bag, gripping the gauntlet with both hands. His arms begin to tremble as the power surges through him, but he pushes through… And slips his right hand into the gauntlet!

The gauntlet glows with power- infinite power- and Golden Cow is briefly overwhelmed… But then he thinks of the Kitty Illuminati, and the injustice they have wrought upon the man who was once Mystery Mask III, and his spirit settles… And the power of the gauntlet synchronizes with the Golden Lion within, and the ocean of power calms. Golden Cow stands tall, the Gauntlet shining brilliantly on his right hand.

Come, Peligroso… There are three more to find.

~~SPACE~~ - ~~REALITY~~ - ~~POWER~~ - SOUL - MIND - TIME