An Old Friend Returns!

The Ted, with his vision blurry from almost passing out during the Dungeon Lock, lays down on the canvas, looking up at the stars. The CMV Universe is absolutely not pleased at this, which is possible to hear from their very vocal reaction. Ted has been a fan favourite since day one, but he just keeps coming up short. Third to last in the King of the Hill match. First eliminated in the Elimination Chamber. Lasted two entrants in the Royal Rumble many months ago, although he got two eliminations. The Ted, maybe the most confident man in the CMV roster, isn’t what he once was. Will he even make it to Ascendance? It really doesn’t seem like it.

The officials help Ted out of the chamber as he looks back into the structure. Kwame Bullet, a man who he teamed with over a year ago on an episode of Aftermath. Joseph Santos, who beat him and also teamed with Ted not too long ago. Amber Reed, who made history a year ago in this very match. Jay Young, who has been a champion for five months and beat The Ted on Octane. And Crimson X, the man who tapped The Ted out. Perhaps Ted just isn’t on their level. Where is the man who easily won championships? The man who took out four members of KLIQ in one night? He hasn’t been seen this entire season. And because of that, The Ted is not making it to the biggest show of the year.

At the top of the ramp, Ted looks back once more. This time, he observes the fans. The CMV Universe, the people who support him no matter what, the CMV Universe that got behind Ted so quickly when he barely knew anyone in this company. They were responsible for The Ted’s first championship win. Ted observed them and felt a rare emotion for Mr. Aftermath. Ted felt sad. Ted felt like he kept letting his fans down. Ever since losing the Tag Team titles with Tracy James, the titles they fought for, the titles they got along for. The Ted has been letting the fans down ever since then. Just think of how much the people LOVED The Team! But Ted still ended up disappointing them and taking a pinfall. A month ago at Absolution, The Ted entered the King of the Hill match with unbridled confidence, sporting a crown in his entrance to show he thought he already had the match won. The fans loved it, of course. But he still lost. He did not become the King of the Hill at Absolution, and failure struck again here tonight at Purgatory. The Ted raises his hands at the fans, who gradually turn their attention from the match towards him, and he mouths “I’m sorry.”

As the night progressed, The Ted wandered the streets of Philadelphia. A few people recognized him, asked for pictures, asked about his career, but Ted couldn’t focus on his fans. He just walked and reflected on his journey in CMV, more specifically what he’s done this season. The seemingly endless war against Kliq, which failed thanks to him. The previously mentioned losses which would have taken The Ted to Paris. The time where he retained his own last name inside a steel cage, the only time Ted has tasted success in the past few months. The disappointment and sadness Ted felt earlier inside the Purgatory arena slowly turned into anger. Last year at Ascendance IX, Ted made it to the card, but he never even made it to the ring. The Team Post vs. Team Dashing match was a failure in the eyes of The Ted. And he remembered that. But a dramatic coincidence happened after this. While walking, The Ted saw a poster on the wall of a concert hall. That poster advertised tonight’s main event; a concert by Post Malone himself! People always seem to cheer up when they visit an old friend, so Ted decided to get a ticket for the concert. It started in half an hour, anyways.

The concert hall was jam packed with people. Post Malone is a huge artist, but this was a pretty small venue. One can only wonder why he would be performing to around 500 people on a sunday night in Philly. Whatever the reason may be, at least The Ted could make it here and watch his old pal perform some hits to blow the roof off this place, such as “rockstar” and… other songs. About 15 minutes after the show was slated to begin, the man called Austin Post came on stage. Being fashionably late is pretty common for artists. Malone was about to start performing the Hit Song “Insane”, off the nearly chart topping album “Twelve Carat Toothache”, before he stopped and put his microphone down. The crowd was small enough, but a 6’8 buff man is pretty easy to spot in most places. Post recognized The Ted, his former team member, and smiled.

About a tenth of the audience knew who Ted was, and that’s a rough estimation. Most people cheered anyway, they were having a good time. The Ted has some crossover appeal and is undoubtedly a star, but you know, wrestling has fallen out of the mainstream, and this is also a pretty small group of people in the grand scheme of things, The Ted has a lot of followers on Twitter, and even more arguments he would present right now. But all of that is pretty irrelevant. The Ted went up on stage and embraced his friend, the man who recruited him to Ascendance last year. Maybe Ted wants to convince Post to return and find a way to get him to Paris? Or maybe he just thought the concert would be cool. Probably not, though. Who even listens to Post Malone in 2022?

Post turns to The Ted to find out whatever Ted has planned for the fans here in this concert. Post turns, he turns RIGHT INTO A T.E.D!!! THE TED HAS JUST HIT THE T.E.D. ON THE GRAMMY AWARD NOMINATED AMERICAN RAPPER AND SINGER POST MALONE, BEST KNOWN FOR HIS VARIEGATED VOCAL STYLES!!!!! WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO THE TED? BUT WAIT, HE PICKS POST BACK UP AS SECURITY GUARDS RUSH THE STAGE! TED USES MALONE AS A HUMAN WEAPON TO FIGHT THE GUARDS OFF, HE GETS POST UP FOR A POWERBOMB….. THE TED POWERBOMBS POST MALONE ONTO THE AUDIENCE!!!!! WHY IS HE DOING THIS TO HIS SO-CALLED FRIEND???

Ted drops the microphone stand onto Post, who’s laying down motionless on concrete as a circle of fans opens around him. Security guards close in on the former (two-time) United States Champion, but he uses his agility to get past them very quickly and flee the scene. The local medic crew rush to help Post to the hospital.