T & Lee Broadcast #2 | W-KTN

Todd Busly was in his study as his noisy children shouted and screeched like banshees outside the door. He looked at his watch while sitting at his desk. 7:58AM. It was almost time. A knock on the study door was heard.

Todd's Wife: Honey, the kids are being bastards.

Todd: Shut the f*ck up woman, I'm busy!

The alarm on Todd's electronic watch began beeping. He pulled his radio forward and twisted the dial like a safe's combination lock. With such a delicacy.

A voice was heard on the radio:

Ladies and gentlemen welcome to W-KTN San Francisco, coming up, the popular T & Lee morning show with your hosts, T and Lee. Enjoy.

T: Hello, everyone, I'm T!

Lee: And I'm Lee!

T: And this is T & Lee in the Morning. After last weeks fiasco we successfully made bail and we've hijacked... I mean... fully rented another radio station.

Lee: Yes and by no means have I, Lee, committed first degree murder by punching someone in the back of the face so hard that it splattered on the wall in our attempts to elude law-enforcement.

T: Okay, Lee, that's enough.

Lee: Right.

T: Anyway, for today's show we've got some news regarding new NXT Television Champion Nick Blake and we also have another session of "Have You Punched It In The Back of the Face"

Lee: My favorite game.

T: Yup. We also have our polls on the upcoming CMV PPV; Exodus. See who we think is going to win. But first up, we've got Nick Blake, up-and-coming NXT Superstar on the phone.

The sound of a ring tone could be heard on the radio.

Blake: Hello?

Lee: Yes is this Nick Blake?

Blake: Nick Blake is always Nick Blake.

T: I, Is that a yes?

Blake: What did Nick Blake just say?

Lee: (whisper)Just keep going.(whisper)

T: So Blake! New TV Champion on the NXT roster? What was your struggle rising the ranks of the NXT Roster to challenge for the Television Title?

Blake: Struggle!? [Bleep], there was no struggle! Nick Blake rose the ranks like a mighty Nick Blake-Phoenix! While Nick Blake would be remiss if Nick Blake did not commend Zack Starr on his performance at Rage in a Cage, Nick Blake's victory was preordained.

T: I mean... It seemed like during the match there was some pretty close-calls, right?

Blake: Nick Blake will [Bleep]ing kill you! What the [Bleep] did Nick Blake just say!? No struggle.

Lee: Are you threatening the great Lee! Whilst your Head Trauma kick is mighty. The kick that Lee will deliver unto you will be so traumatizing your face will be removed from your head. Possibly splattering on the wall like the Police Officer I killed in --

T: LEE! No need to go into detail... Eh heh... No Blake; we get it. And we certainly thank you for your time.

Blake: As Tim LaFave should.

T: Have a wonderful day, Mr. Blake.

Blake: click

T: Well that was an interesting... thing... Before we move onto "Have You Punched It In The Back Of The Face" I have an announcement. Earlier this month I worked diligently with Make-A-Wish to grant the wish of one Mr. Wentworth a young lad with many... uh... issues... I uh... successfully granted his wish and he got to speak in the ring at NXT UnMatched.

Lee: Well done, Tim. You're a pillar to us all.

T: Oh stahp. With that out of the way it's time now for my favorite game; Have You Punched It In The Back Of The Face. And for those of you who are not familiar with this game, I'll explain. I ask Lee here if he's punched several people or things in the back of the face. If I get more confirmations that Lee has punched my list in the back of the face than declines. I will be forced to put on a pair of jeans, make a random call to someone and tell them to [Bleep] off.

Lee: Let it begin.

T: Alright. Number 1. Kevin Lee; Have you punched a Meercat in the back of the face?

Lee: Yes, once during a training trip to Kenya--

T: Kevin Lee! Have you punched a Dolphin in the back of the face?

Lee: Yes, while scuba diving off the coast of Santa Monica--

T: Lee; have you punched a Toaster in the back of the face?

Lee: Yes, after cooking class with Nora Clementine--

T: Who?

Lee: Some [Bleep].

T: Ah, Kevin Lee, final question.

Lee: Do it.

T: Have you punched the legendary Omega Z in the back of the face?

Lee: ...

Tim looks hopeful.

Lee: I mean... has anyone...? Z moves through time so effortlessly his matches may have been but a time-double.

T: A time-double?

Lee: When a being moves through the fabric of time fast enough, he may create doppelganger that we may perceive as "alive". However, this is simply an illusion created by Z moving through time at such a break neck pace.

T: Holy [Bleep]... How do you know so much about him?

Lee: I'm his tailor.

T: ALRIGHT! So I lost; 4 yeses and 1 mysterious answer means Yes. So, I'll be right back, Lee take over while I get my heel jeans.

Lee: Very well.

Tim can be heard getting up over the radio and rummaging in the background.

Lee sounds as if he's very close to the microphone. His intense breathing can be heard.

Lee: Have I ever told you people how I wrestled several Bears in the Bronx Zoo? Whilst visiting the Zoo I became angered that the bears looked soft and weak. I jumped into the pen and began fighting the bears allowing them to see what true strength was. I broke one of the bears necks to demonstrate that only the pain of loss will bring the other bears to the peak of their ability.

T: And I'm back! Pants are on; Lee please hand me the cellphone.

Lee: Indeed.

Tim can be heard dialing on a cellphone.

T: It's ringing.

Lee: ...

T: Still ringing...

Lee scratches his head.

T: Hold on...

Lee: ...

T: Hello! What's your name?

Lee: Tim I don't think you should ask them their names.

T: My names Timothy. I'm from New York and professional wrestler for CMV.

Lee: Tim just tell them to [Bleep] off.

T: You never heard of me?

Lee: Tim.

T: Well allow me to expand on my past. I was born in Ogdensburg, New York in 1992...

Lee kicks the phone out of Tim's hand which can be heard over the radio.

Lee: Why can you never just take a loss like a man.

T: ANYWAY! It's time now for our polls for the upcoming CMV Pay-Per-View, Exodus. It's been quite a build hasn't it Lee.

Lee: Indeed.

T: Awesome. So what do we have for our first match--

???: HEY! HERE THEY ARE!

Lee: Shit! They found us, Tim! Out the window!

T: Maybe we can reason with them. Hello, my name's Timothy.

???: TAZE 'EM!

The radio broadcast becomes cluttered with sounds of electricity, shouting and the boyish-screams of Tim LaFave.

???: Somebody shut that fucking signal off!

Todd turns off his radio and leans back into his chair. As his children shriek like animals outside his study he places his hands on the back of his head and sighs a breath of peace. Once again T and Lee have brought zen to another being on Earth.

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@LaFaveTim_CMV Getting booked. We'll be at #Exodus though don't worry!