T & Lee Broadcast #6 | M-JS the Flounder

Timeframe: Before Fusion #28

Robert Dously was sitting on his back porch on a cold fall day. As the leaves surrounding his house glowed yellow and orange. He had a long day at his job and was ready to rest. The radio on the stand next to him began playing some funky music.

Announcer: Listen! It's time for The Flounder to play a popular show now that's has been getting lots of respect! So here we, introducing T & Lee in the Morning... where they are.

T: Heeeey, It's T! We're broadcasting from So-Cal and we're broadcasting to this southern New York Radio station, isn't that right Lee?

Lee: ...

T: Lee what ails you.

Lee: A war.

T: Well, we can't let that get in the way of a good show. Right!?

Lee: Very well, continue.

T: So we have the show setup! Here we go! 1. We'll discuss recent happenings in CMV. 2. "Have You Punched It In The Back Of The Face" and 3. Interview with the current CMV Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion, Randell Keith Borton! The milkman.

Lee: Let's begin quickly so I can continue training!

T: Jesus, buzzkilington. So let's begin with the current ordeal taking place in CMV. There's a war going on. CMV's first and hopefully and last civil war. The Corporation has been running the show for a long time and now we, the Rebellion wanna bring peace back to a great promotion. Meanwhile, on the title scene, Kevin and I will defend our championships at Regicide, as will every current champion at the pay-per-view. Another major thing happening at the event is Triple H, the leader of the Corporation will be battling the lone-wolf Justin Sane. Big night of action at Regicide for sure.

Lee: Indeed. I hope everyone's ready.

T: Ditto. I guess we can get right into "Have You Punched It In The Back Of The Face". For the listeners who don't know, this game is played by me asking Kevin here if he's punched 5 people, inanimate objects or animals in the back of the face. If confirms that he's punched more of the things I ask of than not, then I'll be forced to put on some jeans and call one random person and tell them to [Bleep] off. In the event I win, however, I get to wear his sweet shorts. You ready, Kevin?

Lee: Reluctantly.

T: Jesus... Anyway... One; have you punched the SMITE god Thor in the face.

Lee: I entered the SMITE Code last week in attempt to better understand "internet warriors" alas, I was mistaken, in a game of SMITE I physically punched a players avatar in the back of the face, destroying the code and crashing every game in the United States.

T: W, wow... Anyway. Number 2, Have you punched Robert P. Cole Train in the back of the face.

Lee: Who?

T: DING DING DING! That's one for Tim!

Lee: Hurry UP!

T: Three, have you punched... The core of the planet...

Tim smirks as he asks a clearly impossible to confirm question.

Lee: Yes...

T: AH YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!

Lee: Remember the 2011 Tohoku, Japan Earthquake and subsequent Tsunami?

Tim groans in agony.

Lee: That was because I punched the core of the planet in the back of the face.

T: Jesus Christ... Alright! Number Four have you punched ... GOD in the back of the face!!

Lee: Yes.

T: C'mon!! How the in god's green earth did you--

Lee: I choked on an Oscar Meyer Wiener in a Hot Dog eating competition in 2005. I died for fourteen minutes before being revived by the paramedics. In that time, whilst in heaven, I felt I had to challenge the creator of the universe and so, I punched him in the back of the face. Do you remember Hurricane Katrina?

Tim places his face in his hand.

Lee: I was living in Louisiana at the time and the Hurricane was created in response to God's loss. In short, God is a sore loser.

T: Well... I guess I lost... I'll be right back as I grab some pants... Jesus...

Lee: Hurry as I have things to do.

Tim is heard rummaging through things over the radio as Kevin taps his feet.

T: Alright, I'm back. Give me the phone.

Lee: Here.

Tim is heard taking the phone and dialing.

T: You think I'll get as lucky as last time?

Lee: Not a chance, I punched my phone in the back of the face.

T: Of course you did... HELLO!

Lee: ....

T: Oliver Wilkerson from the cancelled Cleveland Show!? Well [Bleep], [Bleep] you, dude.

Tim is heard hanging up the phone.

T: Easy.

Lee: Alright, call Borton so we may end this show.

T: God I hate you right now.

Lee: Hate is a powerful asset in combat, use it.

T: Maurice! Will you please call Randall?

A nearly inaudible voice is heard.

T: Maurice Clivestan is our new editor. Lee and I have been making so much bank off of this series we can afford an editor. Cool huh?

Lee: ...

A ringing is heard.

Borton: Ugh... Hello?

T: Yes, Randy, it's Tim, you ready brother?

Borton: Don't call me, brother. Let's just get this over with.

Lee: What a charming man.

Tim: So let's cut right to the meat and potatoes, Borton. How does it feel being at the top of the pile, the leader of the pack, the face of this company. The CMV Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion?

Borton: First of all, Tim, I don't like whatever you just said, just, don't say that ever again. Now, to answer your question, it feels great, I obviously have lots of people targeting me because I'm the World Champion, this title is the top prize in this company. Everyone wants to become the World Champ, to represent CMV. Of course, not everyone is going to do it, so it feels special that I am now the World Champion.

Kevin: Where do you stand on Elimination Chase thing that Triple H has cooked up and who do you think is going to win? Former Champion Troy Voodoo or my colleague and your rival, Tim.

Borton: I don't really care who wins, I've beaten both Tim and Voodoo before, hell I've beaten Voodoo even when he had Yuri Sokolov in his corner backing him up. If Tim wins then cool I get to beat him yet again. If Voodoo wins, then cool, he's going to bring his little friends but that's not going to make him win, I won't lay down that easily. He can bring every one of his pals, every single of his friends, hell he can bring his mother out there too, I am willingly to do anything to retain this title if he does that and if he does win the Elimination Chase.

Tim: You've appeared pretty neutral on the War going on between the Corporation and our Rebellion. What are your thoughts on this tug-of-war for CMV?

Borton: I'm pretty much the Switzerland to this war. I'm on neither side, I'm just by myself, I'm just by myself drinking some milk watching you guys fight each other. To be honest, its quite entertaining.

Kevin: There has been a lot of new names coming to the doors of CMV. Who do you think has the most potential?

Borton: Last week,  I faced a guy that has potential to make it to the top, Johnny Vegas. I see he has a bright future, hopefully he doesn't screw up.

Tim: Finally, Borton. Is there anything you want to tell the listeners at home or the boys in the locker room?

Borton: Well, I don't have anything to tell to my Milkamanics but to drink their milk everyday. But I got something to tell you. If you, Tim LaFave somehow, someway beat Troy Voodoo on Fusion, then I will love to beat your ass again in the ring. Good luck, you sure do need it.

T: Bless, Borton. Have a good one brother!

Borton: What did I say about that.

A click is heard.

T: Thank you Maurice. Alright, everyone, that's our show. We hope you have a good time and we'll be live again for the results of Regicide. Say bye to the nice listeners, Kevin.

Lee: ... ...

T: You're fucking charming too...

Robert turned off his radio with a click, a wide smile across his face as all his problems washed away with a wonderful show from T & Lee. He could bare to live another day.

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Special thanks to Randy Borton (the person not the CAW) for contributing in-character answers for the interview.