THE BREAD REPORT FOR ATTACK ON AUSTRALIA!!!!

by ItsOnlyBread Fri Jan 06, 2023 6:57 pm

Welcome to THE BREAD REPORT! You're number one source for wrestling news and show reviews and tonight I'm coming at you with the OFFICIAL review for ATTACK ON AUSTRALIA. Oh and if anyone is wondering where I have been, I have not just been on my ass no no no. I have been inside of every single part of this business as per usual INCLUDING, the wrestling ring because yes I will be taking part in this year’s ROYAL RUMBLE to beat the current second best commentator in CMV’s old record. So you all will be seeing a lot more of me but for now! Let's get right into this review!

OZONE def. Zack Cage, Andre Rodgers, Jee Sung-Min, Ugbjorn & Liam Sharp [Right of Passage Championship/Ladder Match] :
There was only a few ways to open up this monster of a ppv and this was what I was truly hoping to see first on my screen and I wasn't disappointed. That being said these matches are always hard to judge. So much action in such a short stretch of time can make these matches fun but also weirdly paced and that is what I felt at times during this match. A couple of truly death defying stunts and jesus I hope Jee-sung is ok, that was a NASTY fall but he seems fine and handled it like a champ. I really like how he is progressing but ultimately the winner in the returning OZONE was expected and also welcomed and I look forward as to what to expect from this mysterious character.
3.75/5

Jason Spade def. Tailcoat Val via DQ (Tailcoat Val spit her poison mist into Jason Spade's eyes and then once again carried him away after the match)
This match was hyped up and I have got to say seeing Tailcoat Val actually walk down the ramp and seeing just the presence she has was amazing. I was very concerned that she was not going to show up again. This feud has proved to be interesting to say the least but it was about time to properly see her. That being said the match itself was fine but underwhelming. Perhaps saving the best of the best for another match down the line but as of now I just have a taste of wanting more from both of these stars as I know they are capable of such.
2.5/5

Ken Donahue def. Duo Maxwell via pinfall [Prison Cell Match]
This match wasn't technical. This match wasn't a 5 star classic that will be talked about for years to come. Hell I am almost 98% sure the wrong man one HOWEVER. Seeing Ken Donahue kick ass and really just entertain us to the highest degree in a fight for his life was a joy to see. I am very concerned with Duo Maxwell’s future however if we were to put this match in a time capsule and not think of the future. This was a highlight of the 1st night of AOA.
3.75/5

Kio def. Ellie Quinn W/Zack Cage via pinfall
This match was the start of what eventually be the start of the women truly RUNNING this ppv as this match was quality from start to finish. Very much a back and forth match. Plenty of near falls and emotions displayed from these two women. Ellie Quinn, even in losing, looked like a star. This new attitude of hers is one that is very welcomed by this old but also handsome wrestling reviewer. To talk about Kio along with the feud of there I believe she already looked like a star since the start of this season but she seemed to kick it up a gear which was nice. Overall great performance by these 2 ladies.
4/5

Xander Slate & Shay Hoxton def. Jet Suzuki & Jaxon James, Cam Harris & Troy Colt & Richard Jelani & Perry Heenan (c) via pinfall [Unified World Tag Team Championship]
This review will be shorter as this match was just truly hectic. Hectic and action packed but I am not sure if it was good or not. Hard to follow, super break your neck pacing, camera work shotty and working triple time to keep up. Overall felt sloppy. However I will say The SNS connection winning was welcome but again, would have rather this been more simple, however that is only one highly qualified man’s opinion.
1.5/5.

RVW def. Violet Evans via submission [Submission Match]
Maybe the least impressive women’s match of the night but still a great showing from both women. RVW is always impressive with the way she works and moves inside of the ring. Always very entertaining to watch. These two felt like bitter enemies and I loved it. Violet Evans impressed as well and was a pleasant sight to see. Nothing was particularly special about this match but the fundamentals of how to wrestle and tell a story was shown and expertly at that by both women in this match.
3.5/5

Chris Diamond def. Bob Luger via pinfall (Chris Diamond continued to attack Bob Luger after the match)
This match was an impressive one and these two stars of CMV always deliver a quality match but I am not sure if this was the greatest showing of either of their talents. Both of these men could have blown the roof of this place with not only their wrestling but their storytelling. Both of which, especially Luger being an expert at that and considering their past I thought they would lean in a lot more than they ended up doing and again that disappointed me. That being said must like the last match this still showed a lot of good fundamentals and both of these guys are truly incapable of having an awful match.
3.5/5

Chloe Marx def. Gianna Di Natale via pinfall [Finale of Best of Seven Series]
What can I say. Truly what can I say about a match as good as this. It is truly a shame this was the finale of this series as this was truly a delight. Both of these ladies gave their all. They bled, they cried, tore each other apart for a solid 20 minutes of straight action and it was glorious. Some would argue their match at Bloodsport was better and if you are talking straight technical wrestling you would be right. But this match had the emotion that match lacked for me. In the end Chloe Marx coming out on top was the right call and she looked like a star. Truly bright future ahead but that doesnt mean Gianna was any less impressive, she brought every single ounce of heart she had to give to this match and it paid off. Beauty of a match.
4.75/5

Beatriz Lotus & Yvonne Ivy def. Jade Dynamite & Ally Cage via pinfall[Women’s Tag Team Championship]
There isn't much to say about this one, truly an average match If I was being generous…
1/5

John Lipnick def Walter Bolek via pinfall
This match was disappointing to me however I see the point of it and can appreciate it. It is hard not to compare what Walter Bolek is vs what he has become. Seeing him in this state is a tough watch but it seems like they are really trying to sell the downfall of Bolek and that could be potentially interesting. Toi speak more about this match, it was a short one. No interesting spots really and just your basic match you could have. I will say Josh Lipnick looked truly dominant here. He is looking like a star and that is atleast a good thing to see. Overall an average match with a potentially interesting story attached.
2.5/5

Ashley Riott def Shou Rong [I Quit Match]
This match was a return to form this ppv and this match felt rough and hardcore. Back and forth action with very personal stakes. This match was littered with tension and excitement that I truly loved. Again with the ladies of this ppv, putting out all of the stops, Including. RVW running down to help her friend as Ashley Pilledrivers Shou into the ringside. Amazing. A highlight of both nights.
4.25/5

Ashley Rayne def. Kate Stronghart
This match was short but sweet. Perfect example of how to get the most out of a shorter match as these two ladies put it all out there. Ashley Rayne immediately going for the sharpshooter and Kate laying in constant pressure the whole match were highlights. I would have loved it if this match was just a smidge longer but for what it was it was the best it could be with the right woman winning in the end.
3.75/5

Leon Garra wins the six pack challenge.
This match had a very similar problem that the fatal - four way had as it was super messy and bloated but this match was slightly better. A couple of highlights throughout with a decent if not slightly confusing finish and winner but Leon has proven a very valuable asset to shockwave as of late so his match against Diamond should be at least an entertaining one. Besides that this match was a less bloated version of the tag title match and as such was at least enjoyable when I shut my brain off.
2.5/5

Overall this ppv was a banger but to disappoint a Mr. Jackson Wright was not bigger or better than ascendence. However it was a mostly enjoyable with remarkable highlights throughout.
7/10

Thank you all for reading and again look out for me at MOB VIOLENCE as I will be entering myself into the royal rumble match unless a certain commentator is afraid of their record being broken. See you soon CMV!!